This gym guy of mine...

So I went to the gym yesterday… and by this point I had already made up my mind about IN… I was gonna try to create some type of distance between us so that we’d both lose interest and go about our separate ways… I did try… as usual, I did my work out, I actually changed it up a bit, tried some new machines, did some free weights and so on… and of course I had to go work on my abs… the abs area is where IN’s desk is located, I did most of my workout without really making the usual eye contact that I do, I gave him a quick nod of acknowledgement but I didn’t want to stop my work out… it was me and my friend TR working out… she started coming to the gym with me twice a week (guess she got motivated)… anyways, after the ab workout, I was just gonna wave bye and then get ready to leave. This was the perfect opportunity to do that cause he had like 2 or 3 other employees in his office, so I got up, I waved at him, as in see you next time… and to my surprise, he kicked everyone out of his office and call my name to come over…

ok, there goes my plan of trying to keep a distance… so of course I go over, and I stand in the door way not really inviting myself in (like I usually do)… and he notices and gestures for me to relax and have a seat… now, my friend TR was waiting for me in the locker room cause we were going to grab dinner (which made me feel better about not sitting in his office and talking for ever like he usually wants to)… anyways, we talked for a few minutes, maybe about 15 mins or so… long story short, we did the usual chit chat stuff and then we just conversed about some other things where I mentioned to him that I have a short attention span and that if people don’t hold my attention they lose it (hoping he’d get the clue)…. he was telling me that schools been really tough lately cause its close to the end of the semester and how he was up til 5am doing a paper and so, I almost felt bad for me… and then he’s like when are we going to hang out… I wanted to yell when he asked that, he’s the ones that’s soooooooo busy… I simply replied, well, if you ever called me, I’d check my schedule and we could make plans to get together… I made some other comments to get him to understand that he wasn’t doing what he needed to do and that I was starting to lose interest… and after a few minutes I got up and was like I need to go, my friend is waiting on me… he asked me to call him later (and then asked if that was okay with me, which I thought was soooo cute of him) … I called later, we spoke for a few minutes but he sounded so tired, I actually did feel bad for him cause while he was at work studying, I was laid up in my comfortable bed… anyways, he called me later that evening after he got off work and we spoke for a little bit longer… Needless to say I think he got the message… yeah I know I probably should cut the guy some slack, but I feel like I’ve already done that, as I told my girl, JD, last nite… I need a certain amount of attention to keep me interested, actually I don’t need a certain amount of attention, I deserve a certain amount of attention... hello, I am Miss DD…

back in action...

No I haven’t abandoned my blog… but here's what's been going on with me in a nutshell… I had a great thanksgiving, was too busy stuffing my face to get to the computer and blog… went crazy on black Friday and shopped my head off, spending all kinds of money on things that I probably don’t need, but wanted… then I fell terribly sick on Saturday, ended up in the ER for what turned out to be a stomach flu/virus, I was in a lot of pain (no worries, I’m all better now)… stayed home a few days and now I’m out and about… back to work today…

Anyways… let’s see… my gym guy, IN doesn’t realize that I have a short attention span and that he needs to step up his game… my interest was already waning, I thought that the thanksgiving break would have been a good time to get together and so something… but yet another test he failed… I did see him a couple of times of the thanksgiving weekend (only cause I went to work out) and he was being super friendly and flirtatious as usual, but the gym is neither the time or place to be trying to get with me… I do understand that he works a lot and is still in school, but thanksgiving was a 4 day weekend, and if you can’t make time to hang out on a four day weekend, then you probably can’t make time to hang out during normal weekends… oh well… and he does this thing where whenever I got to the gym he’s like ‘oh, you’ve forgotten about me’ or ‘you haven’t called me’.. hello…… the phone works two ways, learn to pick it up and use it buddy… aiight, aiight, enough about IN…

Anyways, I can’t believe its almost December… actually it only 2 days always… I love the holidays, I’m going to decorate my house this weekend… since I am the youngest I’m usually the one that does that, but it never bothers me cause I enjoy the holidays so much… I also excited about all the good movies coming out during the holidays, the one I’m most excited about is the new Will Smith movie called the Pursuit of Happiness… if you haven’t seen the previews or commercials about it, check it out here: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/thepursuitofhappyness/
enjoy!

the weekend....

The weekend was cool… talked to IN a little bit, didn’t make plans to hang out or anything, but it was cool… Friday night I hung out with a random friend, JO, he’s younger than me by a few years, but pretty mature for his age (or at least I thought he was)… anyways, we went to this fundraiser party thing, ran into a couple of old faces that I haven’t seen in a while… it was all good… anyways, on the ride back, JO and I were talking about a bunch of different things… so we decided to head back to his place, I didn’t think nothing of it since I’d known his for a few years and he’s a pretty cool guy, til we got to his place and he was trying to be all over me… it quickly changed my option of him… I told him he needed to chill out and relax, that I wasn’t interested in him and secondly he would ruin out friendship… well, he didn’t listen, this kid was really trying to have sex with me… I was furious, picked up my stuff and was out… but I was just blown cause I always that he was a sweet kid… in the morning he called me and then texted… nothing … then he called and texted again… nothing… I wasn’t about to spend my valuable time on him… so I went to work (I work at a restaurant on the weekends)… and the phone rings and I pick it up to take an order, why was its JO and he’s all like ‘DD, I’m sorry about what happened last night and blah blah blah”… my response “Its not a big deal, I just expected more from you… now, can I take your order” hmmm, I wasn’t ready to even talk to him, much less see him… he came to get his food, and I was as cordial as I could be (cause I can be as cold as it gets to people)… anyways, he kept trying to talk to me and I simply said I don’t have anything to say to you, when I’m ready I’ll talk to you, cause I work on my own time… needless to say, I was right and the situation messed up our friendship… but I’m not so concerned, cause its not like he’s someone I chill with like that anyways…

Sunday was crazy… ran 14 miles, it wasn’t too bad… actually I was quite proud of myself…. 14 miles is more than half of a marathon, it renewed my confidence that I can actually do this marathon that I am training for!

So one of my good friends, JD, proceeded to inform me that I’m usually more interested in the chase when it comes to a guy and not actually having him (having him in the sense of doing anything with him or having a relationship with him)… and that the few times that I actually am interested in the guy that it doesn’t last too long before I lose interest… now, the chase with IN was definitely fun… but to tell you the truth I haven’t talked to him since Friday night… which actually isn’t a big deal… and that’s her point… usually when I’m really into someone, me and the guy talk pretty frequently and the fact that I’m ok with now having talked to IN since Friday nite, she’s suspecting that I’m no longer interested in him now that I know that I can have him… and well, its not that I’m no longer interested in him, its more like now he has to step up his game to keep my interest otherwise I will be distracted very quickly and won’t look back…

(To be completely honestly I don’t necessary disagree with JD, but I know some of that stems from my past relationships… and its something I’m working on… because it really comes down to who cares less… you know how the saying goes, the person that cares less controls the relationship… and it is a control thing… but I’m working it out, shucks, at least I can admit it… and its something that I’m working on)

I’m going to the gym tonight, so we’ll see…

He finally made his move...

OMG!!!! I couldn’t wait to blog this…. So as I stated earlier today, I was going to the gym… was kinda in a weird mood when I got there (maybe that had something to do with IN’s page that I saw on Hi5 (one of those community online communities… yes, I know I actually looked him up :-/)…. Anyways, after seeing IN (my gym guy) at the gym I had a smile plastered on my face… as usual he came over during my ab work out and we started talking, the usual chatting about what’s been going on and so on… as I was finishing my workout, I started to stretch and IN says, its time for dinner… then I reply (jokingly) what are we having for dinner or what r u bring me… he was like let’s go, if you’re done with your work out… luckily I was just about done.. so we went to go get something to eat around the corner, and I thought we were gonna just grab it to go, but he suggested we eat there… that’s was cool with me by all means… so we got to talking, and he asks me why am I single, and my reply was no reason in particular, I just am… anyways our conversation drifted from my status to his status (hmmm, which was a bit sketch) to sex to our various life experiences.

Anyways, we ate and talked for a bit, it was really cool… he is such a beautiful man (I know beautiful is not the best way to describe a man, but damn nothing describes him better… talk, dark, and handsome with the cutest accent)… So we headed back to his job, I drove cause first of all, I don’t know him well enough to be jumping into his car and second of all I like to be in control… anyways, once we got back to his job, we sat in the car and just talked for a bit… his one hour break turned into a two hour break… and somewhere in the mist of our talking and flirting, he leaned in and kissed me… then he kissed me again and again… and Damn can I say he’s a great kisser… anyways, it was really cool… I hope he didn’t get in trouble for being gone for 2 hours... but it was really cool getting to know him…. Talking about how he thought I was shy and all, and how he’s had his eye on me for a while and so on…

He wanted to get together later this evening once he gets off work at 11pm… but for me, that’s kinda late to be meeting…he said he really wanted to see me again, and that I should think about it and call him at work… Anyways, I’m called him to tell him that I wasn’t up for meeting up tonight and if we could plan something for the weekend… what I thought would be a 5/10 minute conversation turned into an conversation that lasted well over an hour… we’re gonna make plans tomorrow to hang out soon… but I can just say that I am very much attracted to his man, IN, in every way possible… He was just so up front about things, and said the cutest comments... had me blushing and all... I couldn’t stop smiling while I was talking to him on the phone… and even now that I'm off the phone with him, the smile is still shining across my face… I know its silly to be excited about it, but we have been flirting back and forth for about 2 months and I’m just so gitty… and I can’t wait to talk to him tomorrow…. And he has the sexist phone voice with his cute accent!

Ok, enough about IN… I’m off to bed, sweet dreams… I know what I’ll be dreaming of!

quick update...

Its been a crazy week at work (been in the process of moving my desk)... haven't had time to really blog... but I haven't seen IN (gym guy) this week, but I'm headed to the gym tonight, so we'll see how that goes...
Had a business school interview yesterday, and it went quite well... still trying to decide what to do with life... after my interviews, went to drinks with my girls, AB & NM... we had a blast as usual and then I met up for drinks with one my friend, YA... YA and i sorta have a history, but we're way past that now, or at least I thought we were til last night... anyway's i'll blog all about my outing with YA tomorrow... gotta run, hope ya'll are all having a great week!

good times...

Homecoming weekend was great… I knew it was gonna be a lot of fun, but still it amazed how much I really enjoyed myself! I went out Thursday nite to one of the local clubs by campus, it was great ($2 bucks to get in, compared to the $20 I pay in DC to get into the club)… anyways, the entire weekend was cool…
The Sigma’s won the step shop (Yeah Frat!!!)… the parties were fun, the people were cool and overall it was one of the best homecoming weekends I’ve ever been too…
Me and 10 of my friends all stayed in the same hotel, so that was a lot of fun as well…
I didn’t realize how much I missed my friends and loved my undergrad experience, but whenever I return to visit, its always full of fond memories and happy times! Anyways, it was really great to see all my college buddies… Some are married, some still in grad school, some working & doing the 9 to 5, and of course some that we just can’t figure out if they ever graduated or exactly what they do? But none the less, it was great hanging out again. This weekend was definitely an ego booster, realized that I’m not as behind in life as I sometimes think I am… my friends loved my new car, appreciated that I was done with grad school, and that I have a good job in my field… and me, I appreciated the friends that were married or on the way to marriage… but this entire weekend help put things into a better perspective for me… it was nice to be carefree for the weekend...

Only down part to the entire weekend, was that when I got back home last night, I realized that the memory card in my camera had popped out, so now I don’t have any pictures from the weekend and I’m out of a $60 dollar memory card… but thank goodness for facebook, by the time I had got home and settled in, pictures were already popping up on facebook, so while I won’t have all my pictures, I’ll be able to gather enough from all my friends’ cameras…

On a side note…
I wanted to call the gym before I left Thursday and talk to IN, but one, I didn’t want him to think I was sweating him and two, I actually wanted to see his reaction when I ask him what’s taking him so long to ask for my number … so hopefully if he’s at the gym tonight when I go, I’ll get a chance to talk to him for a little bit… wish me luck (and I’ll definitely ask if he has a gf)…

Homecoming Weekend!!!

Its homecoming weekend!!! Headed back to my Alma Marta… I went to school in the south, good ol’ North Carolina… I went to a predominant white school, but it was a really big school, so there definitely were enough black people there and around the area… My days in undergrad, I wouldn’t change them for ANYTHING… while I did complain about a lot of things in college (who doesn’t???), my undergrad experience was phenomenal… I look back and realized how much I loved it and how much fun it was… I was Miss super involved in everything, especially in my sorority, for a while, the Alphas called me Super-Zeta (you know how it is when you first cross and you’re over zealous, well I was over-zealous for the entire time I was there :-))… anyways, I can’t wait to see my friends, the people I talk to on a regular basis but don’t live close enough to… its always nice to see how people are progressing in life and just to reminisce about the old times and hang out again… but things are never the same when you go back, you never realized how much you’ve changed until you go back to a place that’s unchanged, you realize that you see things different and perceive things different, and only then do you see how much you’ve changed… but still the experience is always a good one… going back to a place unchanged gives you perspective and shows you how much you’ve grown!

Now, I haven’t been out to a party/club since the beginning of September because of my training for the marathon, but please believe that I will be out there this weekend with my friend partying it up… even though I’ll suffer the next morning when I have to go running (the training stops for NO ONE, luckily my long run is only 6 miles), it’ll all be worth it!!!

On a Side note: So I went to the gym yesterday, and IN (my gym guy) was there ( I was so happy to see him cause he wasn’t there the last two times I went to the gym and I was starting to think maybe he didn’t work there anymore)… anyways, I managed to convince one of my friends to sign up for Bally’s as well, so when she was doing the paper work and all, I stroll over to IN’s office and he invites me in and we start talking… I’m like where have you been, thought u abandoned me… he said school’s been crazy (he’s working towards a law-degree) and its just kept him busy and that he wouldn't abandon me… so we were talking about school, and I was telling him that I decided I was going back to school, just not sure exactly what I want to get my degree in… and IN goes ‘you can get your masters in me, and you can study me anytime you want to…’ and he got all shy and I was like ‘Really, cause I would like that’ and we were finally on the path to exchanging numbers, when some girl comes to his office, she was a client, so he couldn’t blow her off, but then she wouldn’t leave, proceeded to intro herself to me and all, and all I’m thinking is can you leave so me and IN can finish our conversation, but she didn’t and then another client came to his office, and then I was like I should go work out… then he had back to back clients til I left and we never got to talk again, except when I was leaving he came over to me, and was like so I’ll see you Friday right (hmmm, somebody knows my work out schedule…), nope, I’m going out of town I informed him and he said oh, well then I’ll see you next week and then he gave me that gorgeous smile of his… Guess I have to wait til Monday, and hopefully we can talk then…

Anyways, took Friday off, so after work today I’m gone for the weekend… have a great one, cause I definitely will…

loooooong weekend...

Long weekend… ran my 12 miles on Saturday (i also ran thru event emotion from being happy to be exercising to being proud of my accmplishment, to being angry at how long 12 miles actually is, to resentment for doing the marathon, then back to satisfaction for doing the 12 miles and still wanting to complete the marathon :-)), after running I then went to work that afternoon and then went to some Masquerade Ball (instead of resting my poor little legs)… it was cool though, and Sunday was crazy, have a big family event and spent most of the day cooking and serving people (you know how those Nigerian family events can get out of hand…) Anyways, the event was the baby dedication at church for my niece (2 months old) and nephew (5 weeks old)… the children are such blessing and great additions to our family… it was a good mix of our friends (my siblings) and our parent’s friends and family friends…

Anyways, I guess I didn’t really realize how much it bothered me that I don’t what to do with my life or what I should be doing with my life (in my master plan, I was suppose to be planning my own wedding day by now, but with no boyfriend at the present moment or in the immediate foreseeable future it makes it a little difficult to do that)… anyways as I was saying, I guess I didn’t really realize how much it bothered me until yesterday afternoon, after the baby dedication at church and we had a bunch of people over, and a friend of mine, SS, (a friend I dated about 2 and a half years ago and I actually met him thru my sister-in-law, so he was there to celebrate the baby dedication with us) and I were talking and some how we got on the topic of what’s next in life, and how life was going and so on and out of no where tears started flowing from my eyes. Now, SS and I are good friends, we talk on a regular basis and he’s someone I would definitely confide in cause he’s a very trustworthy guy, but I was just surprised as how easily tears formed at my eyes when we really started talking about the future, and I guess it surprised him as much as it did me, then he asked what my greatest fear was, and I could only reply, I can’t get into that right here cause then I’d get really emotional… and of course he made me promise to call him later to talk and so on and so on… I guess it threw him off because I’m not the most emotional person in general (I can be sensitive, but I hardly ever show my vulnerable side to people, not even to him when we dated) and it threw me off just cause it was so unexpected and I never planned on reacting that way… so, anyways, all that got me to thinking about what I really want to do… I was planning on going back to grad school next year to get an MBA, mind you I already have a master’s degree and I have a good full time job… and I was talking to one of my co-workers and I think the idea of going back to school would help to delay my fear of what’s next and not necessarily help me to solve the current issue at hand, which is what do I really want to do… going back to school would give me the opportunity to learn more, earn another degree, but more than that it would give me a chance to meet new and different people (Nigerians) and I would hope that it would open other opportunities for me to explore and find what I want to do.
I didn’t call SS like I promised I would, cause I wasn’t ready to talk about it, especially not with him cause I know he’ll make be completely open and honest with him and I dunno if I’m ready to do that… I did however, text him and apologize for tearing up during our conversation and he said he wanted to make sure I was ok and he reassured me that he was there for me whenever I was ready to talk…
On a side note, SS is such a great person, may times I wondered why we stopped talking/dating… he’s a great guy, so sweet and kind and considerate and we’ve always had that chemistry between us, but I guess some people you’re just meant to be friends with… either way, I’m grateful for him and his friendship…

Now I’m off to go try and figure out what the heck is wrong with me, or at least figure out what the heck I want to do with my life….

my gym guy - part II

So as I left work Wednesday on my way to the gym, I was thinking how come I never run into my gym guy, IN, outside the guy (like even in the parking lot)… then it was as if my prayers were answered, as soon as I pull into the Bally’s parking lot, here come IN walking out, so I pull up to him inquiring where he was going and who was gonna help me thru my ab workout…. He said he was headed across the street to the mall to grab something to eat and would be back for my workout… and out of no where here I go offering: well I’m already driving, want me to take you (yeah I was quite surprised at that myself)… his response ‘yeah, I just don’t want some big guy chasing me cause he saw me getting into your car’… I laughed it off, but didn’t explicitly say that there wasn’t a big guy (as in a bf) in the picture, but I thought we were already past that… first we drove to the gas station then to the mall so he could get something to eat… and he was super polite… asking if I wanted something to eat, and if I sure and so on and so on… we got to talking about a bunch of things… found out some interesting things about him… he’s parents are still in Africa(he’s from Kenya and has the most beautiful dark skin I’ve ever laid my eyes on) and he hadn’t seen then in years and he was saying he was here by himself and then I asked you don’t have any family here and he replied, no I’m the only one here (that was his chance to inform me if he had a wife and kids… but nothing)… btw, no ring on his hand, I saw a clear view of his hand while we were at the mall (but you know that doesn’t mean he’s still available)… anyways, we chatted the entire time, it was really cool… seems like a caring person just from his behavior and the things he was saying…

Anyways, we got back to the gym and I started working out… Now, the gym I go to is 3 floors, and IN’s desk is situated on the main floor where he can see the entire main floor cause one of his walls in a window and his door opens up to the area where people do ab workout… IN never really leaves his offices too much or the front area, he doesn’t walk around the gym really or anything, so imagine my surprise when I was upstairs working on that elliptical machine when I looked up and saw IN walking towards me… he said he wanted to check on me to make sure I was doing good… and that was it, it was so cute… then he went back downstairs to his office… unfortunately by the time I got to working on my abs, he had some clients in his office and couldn’t come and talk to me as usual… but I spent most of my workout glancing at him and every time I looked up, he was there to catch my eye… and give me that gorgeous smile of his… we didn’t get to talk before I had to leave cause he was with some new clients and he couldn’t really leave them cause he was trying to get them to join and didn’t wanna lose a membership sale…

Now, when we were in the car alone or in the mall was the perfect opportunity for him to ask for my number, but he seemed rather shy for some reason… or maybe its cause he’s unavailable… who know, but I’m going to the gym later on today J… hopefully he’ll be there…

Have a great weekend… 12 miles to run on Saturday… then chilling for the rest of the weekend… gonna try to stay out of trouble, but no guarantees…

Naija for Christmas...

I know it’s a little early to be thinking about Christmas, unless you’re one of the luck few going away for Christmas, but all my friends are talking about the events going on in Nigeria this Christmas and which parties they’re gonna attend and so on and so on… Naija (Nigeria for short) for Christmas would be so sweet… believe it or not, last year (2005) was the first time I spend Christmas in Nigeria (at least as an adult)…. I usually visit during off seasons and summer time, but never had I gone to Naija for Christmas in my adult life til last year… and it was better than I could ever imagine, it was better than all the stories that I’d hear or the pictures I’ve seen… it definitely affirmed my feelings that I definitely want to move back to Nigeria.

Anyways, last year my trip to Nigeria was 4 weeks full of partying, meeting/visiting cousins, meeting all the Lagos guys (and all different types of guys), go out to clubs, doing it all… it was the best Christmas or vacation that I had taken in a long time… life was good, waited on hand & foot, shopping, going out to parties, visiting people, meeting some new friends and getting re-acquainted with old friends and cousins and family members… I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better time. I never really understood what all the hype about Christmas in Naija was about until I actually experienced it myself… what made it even better was that a lot of my friends from the states were there as well, including my best friend… and my ex, L, from London was in Naija as well… my sister and I had our own car and driver, courtesy of my aunt and uncle (who we stayed with for the vacation, since my entire immediate family lives here in the states)… my brother had his own driver and car (plus his boys were doing big things in Lagos, so they took care of him), and my mom had her own driver and car (so she pretty much left me and siblings to do as we pleased)… every day was so much fun and every evening we were scheming as to where to meet up with our friends and what clubs were hot for the night and so on… the clubs played the best reggae I’ve ever heard (and I love me some reggae and I can wine with the best of them)…
I mean, the whole experience was an eye opener for me… made me appreciate my culture so much more… every night was an adventure and I would so love to go back this Christmas… but I can’t, I got too much on my plate to go this Christmas, but I’m planning on going in March for my cousin’s wedding and then again next Christmas (2007)…

Don't get me wrong, i did miss my usually Christmas in the states, i did miss all of my family traditions cause half the fam was in the states and half was in Nigeria... and i'm definitely glad we'll all be together this year for christmas (except for my older brother who is going to Nigeria (and yes I am jealous I can't go again this year, but there's always next year))...

I eventually wanna move back (and needless to say, most people think I’m absolutely crazy for wanting that since I’ve spent most of my life in the states)… Nigeria is part of who I am… and there is so much potential in that country, they just need a few focused, honest and motivated young people to direct it in the right path…
(and yes I do realize visiting Nigeria during Christmas time isn't a fair representation of what Nigeria is like throughout the year and it doesn't means that I will enjoy living there on a more permanent basis… I am very well aware of that and prepared to make the necessary sacrifices when the time comes (but fortunate for me, the sacrifices won't be too many :-))… I always manage to mention that to a guy when I’m dating him just to ensure that he’s aware of my future intentions…. like my ex, L, he even started looking for jobs in Naija… but that ended when we ended… ) anyways, I’m not saying I’m moving there today or tomorrow or even next week… but when I’m good and ready, I’ll be making the trek back to the motherland for good :-)… can’t wait!