Friday, May 18, 2007

the random thoughts in my head...


Where do I begin… many things are running thru my mind at the moment and not quite sure where do I begin so that I don’t lose you in the mist of the craziness in my head…

Tall, dark and handsome… but much more… sincere, considerate, attentive and so much more…. Passionate yet quiet, amazing yet humble, loving yet not overbearing… these are the thoughts that come to mind about him… him, the consultant… although I try not to look to far ahead, but sometimes I just cannot help it… with him I see that a future is possible… we talk in future tense, but I try to be careful not to get my hopes to high, but I want to… I want to believe that he’s the one… my heart says yes, but my mind says no… my mind reminds me of how being too hopefully has hurt me in the past, while my heart only considers the feeling that I have for him and not the mistakes of the past… the more I realize that I’ll be leaving for London in a few months, the more I wonder as to what’s really going to happen with me and him… he comforts me and says that its only a year and we’ll both visit and so on… but in reality I don’t want to get my hopes up to high, but I truly hope that it works out….

I’m scared, nervous, and anxious… in less that 3 months I’ll be packing my stuff up and heading to London… every now and then it hits me hard, that I’ll be away from my family, friend and my comfort zone… they say change encourages grow and I hope they’re right… I know I’ll be forced to learn new ways and adapt to a new culture which I think will be a great experience… I just hope that it turns about to be the opportunity and experience that I want and need… Despite all the worries, I’m also excited, eager and looking forward to moving to London… I can’t wait to be immersed into the culture….

I got my promotion at work yesterday… a promotion that was more than six months over due… but I got… as the saying goes its better late than never… so I’ll take my promotion and be satisfied for now… because I know that my time with this company is limited…

And well the weekend is here… it took long enough to get here… but I’m grateful its here… its been a long week and I am drained... emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted… but there is no rest for the weary yet, there’s still so much that need to be done… this weekend I’m going to try to catch up on some sleep and try to relax a little… but I am definitely looking forward to memorial day weekend… one it’s a 3 day weekend, secondly I’m going to meet up with some college friends and lastly and most importantly, the consultant will be back from his business trip/training and I can’t wait to see him…

Anyways, have a blessed weekend…

4 comments:

Naijadude said...

But sweetie, isnt life all about loving and to be loved? I would say you should just lose any reservations you might have, and give him a chance. Well being hurt is bad though I know that but still.... but ur impending move to London??? that one create comma ooh..but still you will be fine

Jameil said...

take it slow i say. give him a chance, yes but no need to lose yourself nah mean? london is so exciting! hurray for promotions and seeing old friends.

Anonymous said...

listen to your heart mami.. congrats on the promotion

Discombobulated Diva said...

@NaijaDude... I think you absolutely right... any reservations that I may have will only affect my relationship in a negative manner and i definitely don't want that... I'm still going to London, if all works out as planned... me and him have discussed it over and over... hopefully he'll still be around when i get back from London...

@jameil1922... I am definitely taking it slow... that's my mantra theses days, i'm not trying to rush into anything... I'm just enjoying things are as they are now...

@ONB... thanks! i'm definitely gonna follow my heart...