So, I collect quotes… I don’t know exactly how I got started in collecting quotes but it’s something I’ve been doing for about 5 to 6 years… I look for those quotes that reach out to me… words so eloquently put together that it cause me pause for a minute, re-evaluate and grasp the understanding of the what the author is saying...
I have quotes on just about every subject, especially my favorite subject… Love and relationships… I had a ton to choose from… my I managed to narrow it to the shortest list that I could have… Since the quotes were gathered over the last 6 years, they span different asks of love and my varying attitude towards love and relationship…
Enjoy….
Forgiveness does not always lead to a healed relationship. Some people are not capable of love, and it might be wise to let them go along with your anger. Wish them well, and let them go their way. ~Real Live Preacher
What we love to do we find time to do. ~John L. Spalding
[this is one of the truest statements when it comes to love and relationships… if someone loves/likes you, they will find time to be with you… being busy is an unacceptable answer at any point… granted people do get busy, but if they are using that excuse with you ALL the time, then its time to move on… no one is too busy for something they value]
The quality of love and the duration of a relationship are in direct proportion to the depth of the commitment by both people to making the relationship successful. Commit yourself wholeheartedly and unconditionally to the most important people in your life. ~Brian Tracy
There is always something left to love. And if you haven't learned that, you ain't learned nothing. ~Lorraine Hansberry
The best way to love is to love like you have never been hurt ~Anonymous
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. ~Bertrand Russell
"Love yourself first and everything else will fall in place. After all, if you don't love yourself, than why should you expect others to love you." ~Lucille Ball
A proof that experience is of no use, is that the end of one love does not prevent us from beginning another. ~Paul Bourget
[I agree and disagree with this quote… while my past experiences won’t prevent me from loving again, at least I can learn from my past experiences and not make the same mistakes that I made in previous relationships…]
"When love hurts you, dare to love again." ~Steve Maraboli, from Dare To Be
Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover wounds. ~Hugh Elliott
The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. ~Morrie Schwartz
Love the ones you can. Touch the ones you can reach. Let the others go. ~ Real Live Preacher
[I’ve learned this the hard way… I don’t like to burn bridges or end things on a bad note, so I always try to be friends with my exs, but not everyone is capable of that. After continuously trying to be friends with them, I realize that its not going to work and there are those people that I simply had to let go of… ]
One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it unless it has all been suffering, nothing but suffering. ~Jane Austen
If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings. ~Lisa Moriyama
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. ~ Jong, Erica
I understand all your doubts and fears; Of laying your heart on the lineBut aren't you afraid of just throwing away; A love like yours and mine? ~Leap of Faith
If you want to experience love, you have to take the risk. Love's always worth the risk.
And the trouble is if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
[regardless of all my experiences, I do believe that love is always worth the risk… ]
"When you leave, remember the place where you have left me. If you go back and I'm not there, it doesn't mean I don't love you anymore, I just love you so much that I've left to search for you." ~Anonymous
"..contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough..." ~Article in Oprah magazine
"You don't stop loving someone; you only get used to living without them there." ~Anonymous
"Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be." ~Anonymous
"Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss." ~Anonymous
The hardest thing about growing up is that you have to do what's best for you even if it means breaking someone's heart. Including your own. ~Anonymous
Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.~ Deepak Chopra
[I believe this quote is so true… the relationships that I've had have always tend to teach me something that I needed to learn]
I have loved to the point of madness;
That which is called madness,
That which to me,
Is the only sensible way to love.
~F. Sagan ~
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ~ by 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ~
"The one who loves the least, controls the relationship." ~ Robert Newton Anthony
"[On love:] I have no respect for anyone who says they've given up, or that they're not looking or that they're tired. That is to abrogate one's responsibility as a human being."~Harlan Ellison
"When the satisfaction or security of another person becomes as important to one as one's own, then a state of love exists." ~Harry Stack Sullivan
Where once I gave all of me, fearless of the risks and confident of the reciprocity, I now hold a little back… should in case I might need that untouched kernel of self again… someday, to begin to rebuild myself… ~Anonymous
[This quote hit right at home after I broke up with my ex, L… there was no other way to perfectly describe how I approached relationships after L and I broke up]
You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see, but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel. ~Anonymous
All you can do is follow your heart, no one can predict the future...~Anonymous
[no one can predict the future.... ever since i found this quote i've lived by it... I follow my heart, that's all i can do... if I don't risk it, then who knows what great love or relationships I may miss out on... things don't always work out as i hope, but the experiences that i've had have been good ones]
Maybe you’re not the man God meant for me to with, but I know that you were sent my way to restore my faith in Love and in men… I had given up on the idea that I could truly love and care for someone so freely and have it reciprocated so much... thank you… thank you for being you and giving me hope againJ… you’ve changed my life in a way that unimaginable… ~Discombobulate Dive
[I wrote this about my ex-boyfriend, L, that live in London… once I was over all of the pain on us breaking up and able to see things in the proper light… although we broke up, we are now the best of friends and after our relationship, I always remembered that he restored my faith in guys… I dunno if I ever told him this or if I ever sent this paragraph to him, but that’s one of the reasons that I cherish him as a friend and I’m so grateful my experience with him…]
feel free to add your favorite love quotes...
Monday, April 30, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
So grateful...
So I’ve been thinking about the last couple of months in my life, just reflecting and I’ve realized that I’ve done a lot in my short years alive, but even a lot more since I’ve turn 24 last September… there’s this grand list of things that I want to accomplish during my life time, and I’ve been making strives to do those things… two major things that I’ve done since I turned 24 were running and finishing my first (and probably only) marathon and the second being that I got a chance to drive cross country from MD to Cali… There are many other things on my list of things to do in life, while some of them I have to accomplish on my own and before I settle down but most of them are things that I hope to be able to accomplish with my family (husband and children)… such as traveling the world (like taking a trip to South Africa (which I have planned for 2010) and a trip to China (which is also in the works for 2008)… I’m excited about the trip to China, my friends and I are going to China for 11 days, where we’ll travel to Beijing (and attending some Olympic events), as well as going to going to 4 other major cities including Shanghai )… anyways, I just realize that sometime when I’m having one of my quarter life moments about not having direction in my life, not doing anything with my life and feeling lost, I forget to take a step back and take a look at the amazing life that I have and be appreciative of everything that I’ve been given… and today, although I don’t know what my future holds for me, I am grateful for everything that I have…
I’m grateful that I have options to choose from about whether I’m going to the UK or not and if I do go I have options of where and what I want to do, I’m grateful for having a family that understands my selfish needs to explore the world and for encouraging and supporting me in whatever endeavors that I want to pursue as long as it is a positive one… I’m grateful for having some of the best friends in the world, they are like my personal cheerleaders who are always straight with me and tell me like it is and I love them for it. I’m grateful for being a strong individual who has high standards, who expects a lot from herself and her loved ones and a person who is motivated to try and experience new things… I’m grateful for all the opportunities and experiences I’ve had thus far, they’ve made my life interesting and have taught me a lot about myself and life in general... I’m just so grateful for all of this and so much more…
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy: They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust
I don't know what the future may hold, but I know who holds the future. --Ralph Abernathy
When the student is ready. . . the lesson appears. Gene
The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source of hope. Love of the past implies faith in the future. Stephen Ambrose
Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. Rodin
Whatever is meant to be will work out perfectly ~Avril Laveign
I’m grateful that I have options to choose from about whether I’m going to the UK or not and if I do go I have options of where and what I want to do, I’m grateful for having a family that understands my selfish needs to explore the world and for encouraging and supporting me in whatever endeavors that I want to pursue as long as it is a positive one… I’m grateful for having some of the best friends in the world, they are like my personal cheerleaders who are always straight with me and tell me like it is and I love them for it. I’m grateful for being a strong individual who has high standards, who expects a lot from herself and her loved ones and a person who is motivated to try and experience new things… I’m grateful for all the opportunities and experiences I’ve had thus far, they’ve made my life interesting and have taught me a lot about myself and life in general... I’m just so grateful for all of this and so much more…
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy: They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust
I don't know what the future may hold, but I know who holds the future. --Ralph Abernathy
When the student is ready. . . the lesson appears. Gene
The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source of hope. Love of the past implies faith in the future. Stephen Ambrose
Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. Rodin
Whatever is meant to be will work out perfectly ~Avril Laveign
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Day 4 without facebook… and withdrawal is not as bad as I expected it to be… I’ve gotten a few texts asking me was I still on FB… and there have been a few moments where I was weak with boredom at work and wanted to see what was going on in other people’s lives… but so far so good…
So I was listening to the Steve Harvey morning show as I usually do on my looooong commute to work every morning… Steve Harvey is hilarious.. anyways, they have this segment called the Strawberry letter of the day, where people (usually females) write in asking Steve and Shirley for advice on this problem… and here’s the letter for today:
Date: 04/24/2007
Subject: My man thinks he knows everything
Steve, I recently entered a relationship that seems to be very toxic for me mentally and physically. When we first started dating i was going out with my girls and taking care of my man all at the same time. Obliviously, i was not taking care of him enough because he started complaining about me spending too much time with my girls and not enough time with him (i went out with my girls only once a week, Friday only). He begin to say that i was not honoring our relationship by going out so much and talking on the phone with my girls he did not like so much as well. I totally reconfigured my life and gave him all my time, keeping all my friends at a distance, but that still was not good enough. Also, he does not like the fact that i work around all males in my field of study which is engineering. He is totally jealous and insecure about a lot of things in life. Every time i try to talk some rationale sense into my man he always seems to talk over me and never gives me time to get a word in!!!! Thus, he goes on further to tell me what i am thinking and how i am feeling. I tell him he is wrong each time he tries to draw a wrong conclusion. This man thinks he knows everything but is totally wrong on a lot of things. When i tell him something is wrong he does not listen but when his "homeboys" tell him something he thinks it is the gospel. I have tried several approaches to communicate with my man. Each situation renders different results. But, none of the results create change. I am a very educated sister with Christian values and strong beliefs. My man is so stubborn and stuck in his way which is the old school way of thinking. I don't want to make it seem as if i am talking down towards him. How can i ratify this matter? How can you handle talking to a man without belittling their manhood or making them seem foolish? I would appreciate your insight on this subject? Thank you.
Steve Harvey gave such a straight forward answer and it made complete sense… in a nut shell he said that you can’t belittle something that’s all ready little… that the man she is dealing with has some issues with himself and it projecting it on her making her to feel like she is the real issue… that he wants to make the illusion that he is bigger than he actually is, and the only way for him to do so is to make it seem as though he knows everything and that she is the issue…
Anyways, I thought it was rather interesting… I mean, honestly if a man has issues with himself, what can you, as his woman, truly do without belittling him as the female mentions in her letter… sometimes when people have issues with themselves or issues that they are working thru, all you can really do is try to help them, but don’t get caught up and allow it to bring you down as a result…
So I was listening to the Steve Harvey morning show as I usually do on my looooong commute to work every morning… Steve Harvey is hilarious.. anyways, they have this segment called the Strawberry letter of the day, where people (usually females) write in asking Steve and Shirley for advice on this problem… and here’s the letter for today:
Date: 04/24/2007
Subject: My man thinks he knows everything
Steve, I recently entered a relationship that seems to be very toxic for me mentally and physically. When we first started dating i was going out with my girls and taking care of my man all at the same time. Obliviously, i was not taking care of him enough because he started complaining about me spending too much time with my girls and not enough time with him (i went out with my girls only once a week, Friday only). He begin to say that i was not honoring our relationship by going out so much and talking on the phone with my girls he did not like so much as well. I totally reconfigured my life and gave him all my time, keeping all my friends at a distance, but that still was not good enough. Also, he does not like the fact that i work around all males in my field of study which is engineering. He is totally jealous and insecure about a lot of things in life. Every time i try to talk some rationale sense into my man he always seems to talk over me and never gives me time to get a word in!!!! Thus, he goes on further to tell me what i am thinking and how i am feeling. I tell him he is wrong each time he tries to draw a wrong conclusion. This man thinks he knows everything but is totally wrong on a lot of things. When i tell him something is wrong he does not listen but when his "homeboys" tell him something he thinks it is the gospel. I have tried several approaches to communicate with my man. Each situation renders different results. But, none of the results create change. I am a very educated sister with Christian values and strong beliefs. My man is so stubborn and stuck in his way which is the old school way of thinking. I don't want to make it seem as if i am talking down towards him. How can i ratify this matter? How can you handle talking to a man without belittling their manhood or making them seem foolish? I would appreciate your insight on this subject? Thank you.
Steve Harvey gave such a straight forward answer and it made complete sense… in a nut shell he said that you can’t belittle something that’s all ready little… that the man she is dealing with has some issues with himself and it projecting it on her making her to feel like she is the real issue… that he wants to make the illusion that he is bigger than he actually is, and the only way for him to do so is to make it seem as though he knows everything and that she is the issue…
Anyways, I thought it was rather interesting… I mean, honestly if a man has issues with himself, what can you, as his woman, truly do without belittling him as the female mentions in her letter… sometimes when people have issues with themselves or issues that they are working thru, all you can really do is try to help them, but don’t get caught up and allow it to bring you down as a result…
Friday, April 20, 2007
Goodbye to FB, at least for now....
I did it… I deactivated my page on Facebook (FB) this morning… Why??? I’m not quite sure really, well actually I have various reasons…. First reason being FB gives me tooooo much information… too much information about the guy(s) I am interested in, enough information that it sometimes takes the mystery out of getting to know them… I mean, I get all this information that is overloading… some things I’d rather not know… plain and simple… ( I could simply not go to people’s pages, but it so hard to resist visiting their page and reading thru the information and seeing what’s changed or been added on their page and see who’s said what on their wall…)
Also, it lets other people check up on what’s going on in my life…. Granted I don’t have to put up pictures or any information if I don’t want to… but I do want to, and I’d like to do it without people judging me… so this morning… I did it, I deactivated the my page… and in the deactivation steps, they ask you for a reason as to y you want to deactivate it… some of the reasons being:
Also, it lets other people check up on what’s going on in my life…. Granted I don’t have to put up pictures or any information if I don’t want to… but I do want to, and I’d like to do it without people judging me… so this morning… I did it, I deactivated the my page… and in the deactivation steps, they ask you for a reason as to y you want to deactivate it… some of the reasons being:
- Facebook is causing drama in my social life
- This is only temporary, I’ll be back
- I get too many emails from Facebook
- I don’t feel safe on this site
- etc…
And a few other options… while I agreed with a few of them… the reason I choose was; This is only temporary, I’ll be back… and well, that’s truly cause I do feel like I’ll be back on facebook… maybe not today, or this weekend… but eventually I’ll get back into it… but for now I need a break from it…. When my girl, AB deactivated her page a few weeks ago, I went into a small shock and panic… so many question… why, when, why and so on… but this morning for some reason or the other I understood where she was coming from… as I confirmed my deactivation… the FB staff’s last statement to me was: “Your Facebook account has been deactivated. To reactivate your account, simply log in as you normally would, and we'll send you a reactivation email. Come back soon, The Facebook Team”
They know I’ll be back, just like I do… but today, for whatever reason, it felt like an over load of information on so many levels… and i simply needed to get away from it all....
Monday, April 16, 2007
What a weekend… okay… I’ve made a pledge to get back to blogging on a regular basis…. This post is gonna be a bit long… I’m gonna update you all on different things that have been going on in my life and in my mind…
The accountant… I like him, no doubt… but (and there’s always a but)… the more I get to know him the more I realize that he’s not ready for a relationship for various reasons… he was engaged a few years ago to a girl that he dated for 4 and a half years (but she ended up cheating on him and just ended up taking him for granted and treating him really badly in general)… I understand that he doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes as he did with his ex in his past, but he’s changed his views on so many things and just seems so jaded about relationships and marriage in general… he’s done a complete 180 on his personality and attitude because he so determined to not repeated his past mistakes and be put in a uncomfortable position again (He gave this girl everything that a girl would want and he put her first and was in general a good guy to her)… And I was telling him that I understand y he’s changed so much, but did he ever consider that it was the girl that was the issue and not him and that there was nothing he did wrong per se, but that maybe he was just with the wrong girl… and I also said that I feel like any girl that he dates in the future will continuously be paying for the mistakes of his ex… granted they broke up about 3years ago, but they were together for a long period of time and he already planned his life with her and I can only imagine (well I don’t have to imagine, I have my own experiences to take from) how he felt when things ended… I honestly don’t think he’s ready to be in a relationship because there are a lot of things that he’s still dealing with, in reference to his past and his ex… I’m trying to be as understand as I can be and just try to listen to him and advise where I can… and this past weekend while we were hanging out, we talked about a lot things like we usually do, but the overall impression I got from him was that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship or that he’s not necessarily to put someone else first… that he’s not ready to let anyone in (within the walls he’s built around his heart)… After hanging out for a while, a good amount of time, I got ready to go and he’s like no, don’t leave yet… so I obliged and stayed cause I do enjoy spending time with him… in the same breath of telling me about he’s not ready to let anyone in, he turns around and tells me that he feels so comfortable with me and so on… We talked about a lot of things in general about life and I realize that there are some things that would be hard to deal with, not to say I won’t be willing to deal with it, but it would hard.... for example, if he has an issue in his personal life, he’s just avoid it, instead of dealing with it… that would drive me crazy… I mean if I do something to upset you and u don’t like it, please speak up so that we can compromise or fix whatever the issue is… but his philosophy is that everything is avoidable… WHAT??? So if he had an issue with me, he wouldn’t tell me, he’s just pretend that things were ok, or just avoid the situation (and me being the straight forward individual that I try to be, I told him that doesn’t work well with me cause I can’t read your mind and I like to resolve issues as quickly as possible and move on… and I asked him wouldn’t u rather just resolve the issue so that you can move on instead of avoiding it… he said no, avoiding works for him)…
so anyways, on Saturday afternoon, I drove up to Philly to hang out with some friends and I called him on my way and left him a message and then I didn’t speak to him again til late Sunday night when I got back to Bmore and he was like he was calling to check up on me cause he hadn’t heard from me and so on…. And I don’t mind talking to him, actually I look forward to talking to him… we talk daily… and this is where I get confused with him… you don’t want to be in a relationship (not to say I’m rushing it, cause I’m trying to take my time with him) but then he wants to act like we’re in one when its convenient… I told him that he’s hard to read and he didn’t understand what I meant… cause I don’t know what he wants… he speaks in the 3rd person when we talk about relationships, meaning that he talking hypothetically, instead of addressing the ‘relationship’ between me and him… and I have this weird feeling that that me and him are gonna get stuck in the friend zone… but I guess only time will tell…
Ok, on to the next subject… in the last couple of weeks, both of my parents sat me down individually to talk to me about the future… especially with the prospect of me moving to the UK in a few months… they both sat me down and talked about what my plans were… now they both had very different approached to talk to me about the same issue… First, my mother told me that they prayed about me (as they do for all their children) and that it were revealed that I am very picky or choose and that I don’t always take the time to really get to know people (guys in particular)… that I’m being to choose about what I want… and I told my mother yes, I am a little choose, but I just don’t want to be unhappy… I don’t want to be left in a situation where I’m unhappy for the rest of my life or where I’m looking outside of myself and my marriage for happiness… I don’t want to be unhappy because I settle for someone who doesn’t make me happy, and besides if I’m unhappy, the entire family will be unhappy (not to sound spoiled, but if I’m unhappy it will tickle down to affect my family… that’s because my family is quite close and it just would happen that way)…but I did promise my mother I would make an effort to be more patient with people… on to my father, my father said the same things except he said that no one will ever meet every single requirement that I may have, but when I find someone that comes close to it, that I should explore it and see where it goes…
Both of my parents are right, and I’d already come to that conclusion before they spoke to me…. And it something I’m working on…
While I’m on the topic of my parents (cause I hardly every talk about them on this blog)… they both traveled home to Nigeria last week, and I know it’s a time of turmoil with the elections so please pray for their safely... but I have faith that they’ll return safe and sound back to the states… I kinda wish that they were here at the moment though, cause I’ll have to make my decision about the UK in the next couple of weeks while they’re traveling, and it’d be since just to be able to talk to them about it again before making my final decision… although I’ve talked to them extensively about the various options, and they will support me in any and every decision I make, I still want them to be here to be able to just walk into their room and talk to them…
Ok… last topic for this post, cause its starting to become a novel instead of a post… I went to Philly this weekend to hang out with my sister and her boyfriend, there was a big party there on Saturday night… the party was cool… the crazy thing was there so many people from MD… just when I thought I’d get to go to a party and see different faces, little did I know that half the faces would be from MD… but it was cool.. it was a good mix of new and old faces…
To prevent such long posts in the future… I’ll be updating my blog more often, i promise :-)....
The accountant… I like him, no doubt… but (and there’s always a but)… the more I get to know him the more I realize that he’s not ready for a relationship for various reasons… he was engaged a few years ago to a girl that he dated for 4 and a half years (but she ended up cheating on him and just ended up taking him for granted and treating him really badly in general)… I understand that he doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes as he did with his ex in his past, but he’s changed his views on so many things and just seems so jaded about relationships and marriage in general… he’s done a complete 180 on his personality and attitude because he so determined to not repeated his past mistakes and be put in a uncomfortable position again (He gave this girl everything that a girl would want and he put her first and was in general a good guy to her)… And I was telling him that I understand y he’s changed so much, but did he ever consider that it was the girl that was the issue and not him and that there was nothing he did wrong per se, but that maybe he was just with the wrong girl… and I also said that I feel like any girl that he dates in the future will continuously be paying for the mistakes of his ex… granted they broke up about 3years ago, but they were together for a long period of time and he already planned his life with her and I can only imagine (well I don’t have to imagine, I have my own experiences to take from) how he felt when things ended… I honestly don’t think he’s ready to be in a relationship because there are a lot of things that he’s still dealing with, in reference to his past and his ex… I’m trying to be as understand as I can be and just try to listen to him and advise where I can… and this past weekend while we were hanging out, we talked about a lot things like we usually do, but the overall impression I got from him was that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship or that he’s not necessarily to put someone else first… that he’s not ready to let anyone in (within the walls he’s built around his heart)… After hanging out for a while, a good amount of time, I got ready to go and he’s like no, don’t leave yet… so I obliged and stayed cause I do enjoy spending time with him… in the same breath of telling me about he’s not ready to let anyone in, he turns around and tells me that he feels so comfortable with me and so on… We talked about a lot of things in general about life and I realize that there are some things that would be hard to deal with, not to say I won’t be willing to deal with it, but it would hard.... for example, if he has an issue in his personal life, he’s just avoid it, instead of dealing with it… that would drive me crazy… I mean if I do something to upset you and u don’t like it, please speak up so that we can compromise or fix whatever the issue is… but his philosophy is that everything is avoidable… WHAT??? So if he had an issue with me, he wouldn’t tell me, he’s just pretend that things were ok, or just avoid the situation (and me being the straight forward individual that I try to be, I told him that doesn’t work well with me cause I can’t read your mind and I like to resolve issues as quickly as possible and move on… and I asked him wouldn’t u rather just resolve the issue so that you can move on instead of avoiding it… he said no, avoiding works for him)…
so anyways, on Saturday afternoon, I drove up to Philly to hang out with some friends and I called him on my way and left him a message and then I didn’t speak to him again til late Sunday night when I got back to Bmore and he was like he was calling to check up on me cause he hadn’t heard from me and so on…. And I don’t mind talking to him, actually I look forward to talking to him… we talk daily… and this is where I get confused with him… you don’t want to be in a relationship (not to say I’m rushing it, cause I’m trying to take my time with him) but then he wants to act like we’re in one when its convenient… I told him that he’s hard to read and he didn’t understand what I meant… cause I don’t know what he wants… he speaks in the 3rd person when we talk about relationships, meaning that he talking hypothetically, instead of addressing the ‘relationship’ between me and him… and I have this weird feeling that that me and him are gonna get stuck in the friend zone… but I guess only time will tell…
Ok, on to the next subject… in the last couple of weeks, both of my parents sat me down individually to talk to me about the future… especially with the prospect of me moving to the UK in a few months… they both sat me down and talked about what my plans were… now they both had very different approached to talk to me about the same issue… First, my mother told me that they prayed about me (as they do for all their children) and that it were revealed that I am very picky or choose and that I don’t always take the time to really get to know people (guys in particular)… that I’m being to choose about what I want… and I told my mother yes, I am a little choose, but I just don’t want to be unhappy… I don’t want to be left in a situation where I’m unhappy for the rest of my life or where I’m looking outside of myself and my marriage for happiness… I don’t want to be unhappy because I settle for someone who doesn’t make me happy, and besides if I’m unhappy, the entire family will be unhappy (not to sound spoiled, but if I’m unhappy it will tickle down to affect my family… that’s because my family is quite close and it just would happen that way)…but I did promise my mother I would make an effort to be more patient with people… on to my father, my father said the same things except he said that no one will ever meet every single requirement that I may have, but when I find someone that comes close to it, that I should explore it and see where it goes…
Both of my parents are right, and I’d already come to that conclusion before they spoke to me…. And it something I’m working on…
While I’m on the topic of my parents (cause I hardly every talk about them on this blog)… they both traveled home to Nigeria last week, and I know it’s a time of turmoil with the elections so please pray for their safely... but I have faith that they’ll return safe and sound back to the states… I kinda wish that they were here at the moment though, cause I’ll have to make my decision about the UK in the next couple of weeks while they’re traveling, and it’d be since just to be able to talk to them about it again before making my final decision… although I’ve talked to them extensively about the various options, and they will support me in any and every decision I make, I still want them to be here to be able to just walk into their room and talk to them…
Ok… last topic for this post, cause its starting to become a novel instead of a post… I went to Philly this weekend to hang out with my sister and her boyfriend, there was a big party there on Saturday night… the party was cool… the crazy thing was there so many people from MD… just when I thought I’d get to go to a party and see different faces, little did I know that half the faces would be from MD… but it was cool.. it was a good mix of new and old faces…
To prevent such long posts in the future… I’ll be updating my blog more often, i promise :-)....
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Away I go...
So I’ve been praying, sort of… or at least talking to God about what decision I should make… and well, when I woke up yesterday morning, although I wasn’t in the best mood, the idea of going to London/UK put a huge smile of my face and I decided that was the sign that I had been waiting for… for a few seconds on that early gloomy Monday morning, as I dreaded going to work (again!!!)… a few thoughts flashed thru my head as to why I had originally pursued the idea of going abroad anyways, and all the joys that I will have… and in that split second, my heart was content with the decision to go… to just go… and to stop worrying about everything… that God will make a way for me… and so in another 4 months or so… I’ll be going…
Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility. ~Oprah Winfrey
All you can do is follow your heart, no one can predict the future...~Anon
Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility. ~Oprah Winfrey
All you can do is follow your heart, no one can predict the future...~Anon
Friday, April 06, 2007
unsettled...
So, somewhere along the line… I lost my motivation… my motivation to do a lot of things… like keeping my blog up to date… working out on a consistent basis… keeping a healthy life style… and well the list goes on and on… and my happy disposition on life had been replaced with a cynical view on most things in this world…
Now, my question is where do I find the motivation to start doing all the things that I want to do, but have become so lazy towards… and how do I get all this cynicism out of my system… granted, I’ve always be a realistic person, but now I’m just have such a negative attitude towards a lot of things… (did I mention I hate my job… ok, hate is a strong word, but I’m very unsatisfied with my job)… and well, I don’t want to sit here and complain, but I don’t know how else to get it out of my system… I could just deal with it, but how do I do that exactly…
Ok, so my mind is going a million miles an hour… so when ever I start getting cynical, I try to think of the positives… this year has been such a great year already, I’ve accomplished two of my life goals and I’m general good with where I am in life… I completed my first marathon, I got to drive across the country (which was amazing), I’ve met a very nice guy that I’m interested in, I’ve gotten accepted into one of my grad schools in London… so all in all, I’m beyond grateful for all of these things and much more… but there’s something that is unsettled in me, I can’t pinpoint it yet… but there’s something deep in my mind/heart that keeps me feeling a little uneasy and keeps me up a little later than usual at night… it keep my mind from feeling completely relaxed and I don’t know what it is… ok, maybe I do… but I’m not for sure yet… I started this blog last summer because I was going thru what is known as a ‘Quarter Life Crisis’… I was (and still am) at a cross in my life where I need to make some major decisions that will affect my future and the rest of my life… and while I thought I had it all planned out for a while, I now am realizing that I haven’t considered every factor or aspect of the decisions I’m going to make or the plan that I thought I had… and with the addition of new factors, its making me rethink everything…. Maybe that’s why I’m unsettled… I know I have to make some MAJOR life decisions in the next couple of months and I can only put it off for so long… I mean, there’s always the option of not making a decision, but that would do me absolutely no good… so a decision has to be made whether I have all the facts or NOT… so I contemplate about the future, the possibilities, the repercussions, and the consequences… and I’m lost… cause I know what I thought I wanted, and I know what I think will be good for me… but then I doubt… and well, I don’t like doubt…
I don't know what the future may hold, but I know who holds the future. ~Ralph Abernathy
Well, the fact is that one cannot retrace one's steps, and the steps one has taken greatly influence the future. ~Vincent van Gogh
You have to know what you want to get. ~Gertrude Stein
Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility. ~Oprah Winfrey
Now, my question is where do I find the motivation to start doing all the things that I want to do, but have become so lazy towards… and how do I get all this cynicism out of my system… granted, I’ve always be a realistic person, but now I’m just have such a negative attitude towards a lot of things… (did I mention I hate my job… ok, hate is a strong word, but I’m very unsatisfied with my job)… and well, I don’t want to sit here and complain, but I don’t know how else to get it out of my system… I could just deal with it, but how do I do that exactly…
Ok, so my mind is going a million miles an hour… so when ever I start getting cynical, I try to think of the positives… this year has been such a great year already, I’ve accomplished two of my life goals and I’m general good with where I am in life… I completed my first marathon, I got to drive across the country (which was amazing), I’ve met a very nice guy that I’m interested in, I’ve gotten accepted into one of my grad schools in London… so all in all, I’m beyond grateful for all of these things and much more… but there’s something that is unsettled in me, I can’t pinpoint it yet… but there’s something deep in my mind/heart that keeps me feeling a little uneasy and keeps me up a little later than usual at night… it keep my mind from feeling completely relaxed and I don’t know what it is… ok, maybe I do… but I’m not for sure yet… I started this blog last summer because I was going thru what is known as a ‘Quarter Life Crisis’… I was (and still am) at a cross in my life where I need to make some major decisions that will affect my future and the rest of my life… and while I thought I had it all planned out for a while, I now am realizing that I haven’t considered every factor or aspect of the decisions I’m going to make or the plan that I thought I had… and with the addition of new factors, its making me rethink everything…. Maybe that’s why I’m unsettled… I know I have to make some MAJOR life decisions in the next couple of months and I can only put it off for so long… I mean, there’s always the option of not making a decision, but that would do me absolutely no good… so a decision has to be made whether I have all the facts or NOT… so I contemplate about the future, the possibilities, the repercussions, and the consequences… and I’m lost… cause I know what I thought I wanted, and I know what I think will be good for me… but then I doubt… and well, I don’t like doubt…
I don't know what the future may hold, but I know who holds the future. ~Ralph Abernathy
Well, the fact is that one cannot retrace one's steps, and the steps one has taken greatly influence the future. ~Vincent van Gogh
You have to know what you want to get. ~Gertrude Stein
Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility. ~Oprah Winfrey
Monday, April 02, 2007
Back from my Road Trip and back in action...
So, I’ve been a little MIA… to say at the least…
So much has been going on that I’m not quite sure where to begin… so here goes…
So, I just got back from my road trip on Friday… and here’s a quick run down of the road trip…
Day 1: Maryland to Virginia to Powell, Tennessee… we got there late and left early the next morning
Day 2: Powell Tennessee to Memphis, Tennessee… we stayed in Memphis for the night… went to the Civil Rights Museum (which was a great experience) and then went out to get some real BBQ for dinner (hmmmm, good… what diet??), stopped at a liquor store, guess we were on the wrong side of town but needless to say I’ve never been so scared in my life, then went out to Beale Street later in the evening with one of our college buddies that lives in Memphis… interesting does not capture the description of the range of people we saw on Beale St…
Day 3: Memphis, TN to Oklahoma City… Didn’t do much in Oklahoma, just chilled
Day 4: Oklahoma to Texas to Albuquerque, NM… Really nice place, saw a lot of Native American artwork and jewelry… pick up some really unique and cute stuff… the food was just ok
Day 5: Albuquerque, NM to Arkansas to Las Vegas, NV… Vegas was great of course… lots of drinking and party… danced on the bar at Coyote Ugly… meet some random guys from NC that we hung out with for a little bit…
Day 6: Las Vegas, NV to Cali… LA is great and all, but its not all its cracked up to be… it just wasn’t what I was expecting… Went to the Hollywood Blvd to go see the stars on the sidewalk, which was ok… when to the Beverly center and got some shopping done (that was great), went to little Tokyo and had some great Japanese food for dinner.
Day 7: Flew from Cali back to MD…
Other random notes about the trip… we saw the Hoover Dam, it massive, the sight of it is really cool… saw some beautiful landscape… this country is much more beautiful than I give it credit for… we stopped in a small town called McClean in Texas, this town totally missed the 20th century, it only had 600 people in the entire town, no really stop lights and only one grade of gas (regular)… sure we made them nervous when they saw 3 black females walking into the gas station… the town was quite a site…
All in all... the trip was great; I had a lot of fun and I really enjoyed myself…
BTW… things are going great with the accountant… I’ll have an update on the next post…
So much has been going on that I’m not quite sure where to begin… so here goes…
So, I just got back from my road trip on Friday… and here’s a quick run down of the road trip…
Day 1: Maryland to Virginia to Powell, Tennessee… we got there late and left early the next morning
Day 2: Powell Tennessee to Memphis, Tennessee… we stayed in Memphis for the night… went to the Civil Rights Museum (which was a great experience) and then went out to get some real BBQ for dinner (hmmmm, good… what diet??), stopped at a liquor store, guess we were on the wrong side of town but needless to say I’ve never been so scared in my life, then went out to Beale Street later in the evening with one of our college buddies that lives in Memphis… interesting does not capture the description of the range of people we saw on Beale St…
Day 3: Memphis, TN to Oklahoma City… Didn’t do much in Oklahoma, just chilled
Day 4: Oklahoma to Texas to Albuquerque, NM… Really nice place, saw a lot of Native American artwork and jewelry… pick up some really unique and cute stuff… the food was just ok
Day 5: Albuquerque, NM to Arkansas to Las Vegas, NV… Vegas was great of course… lots of drinking and party… danced on the bar at Coyote Ugly… meet some random guys from NC that we hung out with for a little bit…
Day 6: Las Vegas, NV to Cali… LA is great and all, but its not all its cracked up to be… it just wasn’t what I was expecting… Went to the Hollywood Blvd to go see the stars on the sidewalk, which was ok… when to the Beverly center and got some shopping done (that was great), went to little Tokyo and had some great Japanese food for dinner.
Day 7: Flew from Cali back to MD…
Other random notes about the trip… we saw the Hoover Dam, it massive, the sight of it is really cool… saw some beautiful landscape… this country is much more beautiful than I give it credit for… we stopped in a small town called McClean in Texas, this town totally missed the 20th century, it only had 600 people in the entire town, no really stop lights and only one grade of gas (regular)… sure we made them nervous when they saw 3 black females walking into the gas station… the town was quite a site…
All in all... the trip was great; I had a lot of fun and I really enjoyed myself…
BTW… things are going great with the accountant… I’ll have an update on the next post…
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