celebrating a new year 2008....

Happy New Year...



I hope that everyone have a safe and fun New Years Eve.... I had a great New Years Eve, despite all of the things going thru my mind... Partied til 6 am, two of my really good friends came thru to hang out, one came fron NY and the other from DC... it was great to see them...



Starting a new year, and i'm hoping that 2008 is better than 2007... i had a lot of successes and accomplishments in 2007, but i also had alot of toils and trials... but hey, i survived the year right, so it should make me a better person right... I haven't made any new year resolutions... i gotta go back and take a look at my list from last new year's even to see if i accomplished the things on my list... this year i'm not going to necessarily make new year resolutions, but rather small achievable goals for myself...



There been alot of things that I'vebeen thinking about and trying to deal with... my last post talked about me giving my blog address to TA, i kinda wish i hadn't given it to him, but he read it and he gave me his opinion... he also said he deleted the blog url, which i really hope he does, but if he doesn't well there's nothing i can go about that right... i considered from a while shutting down my blog, that's why i hadn't made an entry for a couple of days... wasn't sure what i really wanted to do, but after some consideration decided that i wanted to keep my blog and i'll figure something else out about TA having the url...



anyways, what's really on my mind... well, everyone wants to be happy... and maybe some times I sabotage myself or my own happiness in relationships... my friend JD says that once i find the right guy, then i won't sabotage myself or my relationships, but i don't know... its not that's i'm not aware of what i do, I'm quite aware of it, but i can't necessarily help it... maybe it'll stop when i do find the right guy, or maybe it'll stop when i stop running from relationships, or maybe when i just start working on it (obviously the last options makes the most sense)...



okay, so my current issue, for some reason, sometimes i feel insecure about TA, sometimes its about the things he does, sometimes its just me being insecure... for some reason lately, he's bring that side out of me, and trust me i'm not an insecure person in general... now i want the best for TA and I want to be there for him, but i can't be supporting him if its hurting me to do so... maybe its cause i'm away at the moment, maybe because its that mental time mark when i usually start finding faults in a guy so i can find a reason to end it or maybe its the truth... and honestly at this point, i just don't really know what it is... anyways, i'm going to take it one day at a time... i just need some time to myself to get my thoughts together, to evaluate my feelings and see what i really want...

I want 2008 to be a great year... 2007 was an amazing and progessive year (both in a positive and negative way).... i accomplished alot, learned alot especially about myself and I grew thru various experiences... entering into 2008 i can only hope that i take the time to really focus on the things that are important to me, my family and my success.