There's No Place Like Home...

What a great weekend… there truly is no place like home… welcomed with open arms and smiling faces… going home back to the states for Thanksgiving was great… actually great is an understatement… it was wonderful… it was like things were right back to normal as soon as I got there… it was great to lay in my own bed, watch my own tv, walk around my own home and be completely free… I got there on Thursday afternoon… walked in the back door, could smell the turkey cooking, potatoes roasting, jollof rice burning on the stove, and a mixture of other great smells… my parents were so happy to see me, more than I expected, but I’d missed them a lot, so the feeling was quite mutual… slowly, the rest of the siblings and family members trickled in… the sisters and boyfriends, the brothers and wives and children, before long we had a full house… and it was great… great food, great wine and great company… I couldn’t ask for anything else in that moment… being with my family was all I needed. For a bit, I did feel like I was missing out on so much by living in London, but as I interacted with my siblings and parents, it became more and more evident that they were proud of me for doing what I’m doing and being successful in London… it reaffirmed that I made the right decision to move to London… but sometimes, you still can’t help but feel like you may be missing out… but as I hear them all describing when they are coming to London next month of their way to Nigeria and how we’ll have so much fun when they come to visit me, it gave me something more to look forward to…. By like 7pm, I could barely keep my eyes up, tired and delirious from lack of sleep and jet lag, I was struggling… got up crazy early the next morning to do the black Friday shopping things…. Madness in all the stores my sister and I went to… but needless to say, we got some pretty good deals!!!

I was having a discussion with my dad about Christmas… he told me that in America, they don’t really celebrate Christmas in the same ways as other parts of the world, that its too commercialized in the states… and if I didn’t go to Nigeria 2 years ago for my first Christmas in Nigeria and didn’t living in London now, I would have blatantly disagreed with him… although I do have to admit, I notices as I was growing older in the states, that the spirit of Christmas was not as joyful as it was when I was much younger… I just thought that was the natural progression, that as you got older, you got more serious and paid less attention to holidays and things of that nature… I almost let that rob me of my Christmas spirit…. But some how I always managed to find that spirit and spread it along to my sibling and parents, whether they wanted it or not… when I was growing up I remember Christmas as being so exciting and joyous… huge Christmas trees, decorations everywhere, waking up at 6am to open gifts, having breakfast with the family, watching the parade and going to church later in the day… then going around to other family and friends’ homes or having them come visit at our home… lots of children running around in their new clothes and showing off the new gifts they just got, lots of Christmas lights, good food, great company and just happiness everywhere… I do miss those Christmas days… I do miss the good old days… but as I spent my first Christmas in Nigeria 2 Christmas’ ago, I am eager to go back… of course Nigerians know how to celebrate, but the Christmas spirit is still well and kicking in Naija… even in London, its clear that the holiday season is here… Christmas lights and decorations all thru central London, illuminating the streets and never letting you forget that Christmas is right around the corner… anyways, maybe all of this is just my experiences, but I feel that as I get older, that the experience of Christmas is just much different…

My Range of Emotions... What a Roller Coaster!!

Hmmm, what a weekend… well, I’ve been thinking that TA has been acting a little weird lately… and well he thought the same thing about me, we had a conversation on Wednesday evening, cause I was trying to make plans for Thursday evening after I got off work cause my friends were leaving on Thursday morning… anyways, we kinda straighten things out.. cause I asked if everything was ok and so on and the asked what was up with me and why I’d been acting weird lately… and my reaction was that I thought he had been acting weird… so anyways, we talked about it and left it at that… so Thursday afternoon TA texts me saying he was gonna be home in the evening… so I made plans to go visit him after work… let’s just say that it was a very interesting evening… remember this blog entry ‘Everything Happens for a Reason’… well although I was dealing with a major issue (at least it was a major issue for me), I failed to tell TA about it… I had plans on telling him, but I was nervous… actually I was more scared and confused than nervous, and being the type of person that I am, sometimes my pride gets in the way of allowing me to ask for help, assistance or support, even when I really need it… well I dealt with the situation on my own and never told TA… and well thru some discussion, it came out and TA was livid with me… actually livid was an understatement… I almost thought he was through with me… he was quite upset that I kept something so significant away from him… he said I should have known better and that if he’s in, then he’s in.. meaning that I should have known that I could have turned to him in my time of need and we would have dealt with the situation together… hmmm, what could I say… there’s was nothing to say, even though I tried to explain it to him, but nonetheless he was upset with me, which I understood… well, all that said and done, we talked about everything and I think we’re gonna be just fine… and its great to know that I can turn to him for advise and in my time of need, without being afraid that he’ll run away…

I guess its just my personal style to try and handle everything on my own, its how I’ve always done things… there are very few people that I turn to for help, and even fewer people outside of my family… so its hard coming to terms that I have him to turn to… aside from my personal stubbornness, its very difficult for me to trust people, especially when it comes to personal information about me… I’ve seen how people can turn on you and use that information against you, not me personally or any of the people that I’ve entrusted in, but I’ve seen it happen to other people and I can’t imagine that type of betrayal… my heart can’t handle that type of damage at this point in my life… which leads me to another thing, lately I’ve been over emotional… the littlest thing can set me off, not in an angry way, but in a teary-eyed way… the smallest things seem to get me all emotional… NO IT’S NOT PMS… for example, I was reading a book about fathers, and all of a sudden I got all teary-eyed as I was thinking about my dad and how I can’t wait to see him when I go home next… believe it or not, I got teary eyed just writing that last sentence about my dad…

Home sweet home… I’m going home for Thanksgiving… at first I wasn’t going to go cause I thought it didn’t make sense to go home for like 3 and a half days, but then I realized that it was more than worth it to go home for a few days if I get to see my family and friends, even if its just for a short period of time… in 3 days time, I’ll be back home in my own house, room, and bed… I’ll be surrounded by my loving and supportive family (especially my cute nephews and nieces) and by some of the greatest friends that one can ask for!!! Excited is an understatement of how much I am looking forward to going back to Baltimore :-)… Get some good home cooked food, spend time with the fam, relax, drive around (and not have to wait for a bus or train!!!), go shopping at decent prices and so much more. I just need a break from London, just for a little bit… I’m hoping I’ll be re-energized when I come to London… all this said, I will miss TA and I’ll miss London a little bit (it is my new home for now), even if its just for a few days…

Paris for the weekend...

Ooh la la… Paris for the weekend…

I went to Paris for the weekend, 2 weekends ago, with one of the friends that came to visit from the States… it was an interesting weekend to say at the least……


Jean Marc… that’s the name of the French man that I had a rendezvous with this weekend while in Paris… ok,ok, I didn’t really have a rendezvous with Jean Marc (or any other French man while in Paris), but it did sound nice for a quick second… also, lets not forget I am spoken for … but I did meet a very attractive gentleman name Jean March…… tall dark, and handsome… well, let me explain, my friend, R and I were all dressed up in central Paris, and it was about 1:30am, we’d been other there for about 45 minutes, trying to find a nice club to go to… we spoke to a few people here and there, but we felt that most of the people walking by were two young… but then here comes Jean Marc and his 2 friends… they we cute, they looked mature… so we stopped them asked if they knew of any good parties/clubs in the area… well, being the gentlemen they were, they invited us to go to the club with them… the were walking up the street to a club that play hip-hop, reggae, R&B, and so on… sounded great… so R and I tagged along… the club didn’t actually open til 2am, so were were just chatting outside while we waited for the club to open… so 2am finally rolled around… and in we went… the place wasn’t big, but it was a decent size, the music was good and the crowd was really good… so no complaints… I ended up dancing with Jean Marc for most of the evening… he spoke little English and I spoke even less French… but some how we managed to communicate through out the night… Towards the end of the nite, he asked for my email address, which I gave to him… he mentioned that he came to London often and would it be possible to see me if he came…. Well, amidst all the fun and games, ummm I had to make it clear that I was not interested in anything with him, at least nothing more than a friendship… I hadn’t mentioned it before, but it felt appropriate to let him know that I was seeing someone in London… and since I don’t believe in cheating, there were no other options than for us to be friends… as you can guess, I haven’t heard from him, but I didn’t really expect too… especially after I told him I was seeing someone… oh, well… that’s life right!

Anyways, Paris was great… it was great to have my friends around for a little bit… my friends left on Thursday morning… and the first thing on my mind was to see TA, seeing as that I hadn’t seen him in a week, just cause my friends were around and we were busy doing all the tourist stuff…

So what...

So what…. So what if I haven’t seen Scarface or The Godfather I, II, or III… so freaking what… what’s the big deal… I appreciate that they are classic movies and they are great movies and so on and so on… but so what I haven’t seen them… well the fact that I hadn’t seen any of the aforementioned movies drove TA absolutely crazy, I mean to the point of being upset… Y??? I’m not quite sure, but he really took it personal… I mean if you told me you’ve never seen Clueless (one of my all time favourite movies and a classic from the teenage years), I wouldn’t blow a gasket over it… but no, not my TA, he decided to take it personal… really… then I said, well this would be a good opportunity for us to watch it together… and his response… NEVER… I’m not on his level he says, he can’t be explaining the movie to me… blah blah blah… so NO, that was his answer, He's not gonna watch them with me!?!? He was like u need to go rent those movies and watch them… and I looked at him like he was crazy… Y??? anyways, he really felt the necessity to understand why I hadn’t watched Scarface or the Godfather… and I didn’t really have a real reason, except that I never had the opportunity to watch it and when I go to rent movies, those are not movies that are at the top of my ‘must see’ list (please, they barely make the ‘maybe if I’m bored, I’d watch that movie’ list)… so after criticizing me about the fact that i'd never seen those movies, and so on, I started to get annoyed… Geez, I got the freaking picture… why are you being so mean about something so silly… then he tried to pull me over when we were watching Titanic (which I’ve seen b4 by the way) but I was too annoyed with him to cuddle… who wants to cuddle with someone who’s just spent the last 30 minutes going on and on about your choices of movies (There’s nothing wrong with Harry Potter)… but I guess he didn’t think I’d take it so personal, and to be honest, neither did I, but it just kinda hurt my feelings… and I guess he realized it so he apologized and then offered to watch the movies with me… talk about a silly reason to have a disagreement about… but he made it all better… we did manage to watch Casino and the Usual Suspects… two classics (that I’ve never seen b4)… they were really good movies actually… and while they’re not my typical choice of movies, I enjoyed them and I enjoyed them more watching them with TA… and we got thru after of Titanic before I decided to go to bed…. And I expected TA to finish watching the movie, but being the sweetheart that he is; he stopped the movie and came to bed as well…

I must admit, after we made up, and we were watching the movies and just chilling in at his place, I could almost see myself doing this thing for the long run... I mean, it’s rare for me to admit that type of thing, but it’s possible… but lets not get ahead of ourselves!

On another note… two of my friends are here from the states to visit… we’re heading off to Paris in the morning for the weekend… then returning on Monday morning… they’re gonna be around til the end of the next… I am so excited to have them around… its nice to have some familiar faces from back home… and I’m even more excited about possibility going back home in 2 weeks for thanksgiving (where I plan to stuff my face with food, before I start a proper diet on my return to London)… EXCITED :-)!!!

some thoughts...

Hmmm… my ex, L, wants to meet the guy I’m seeing, TA… LOL… yeah right, like L thinks I ever gonna let that happen… especially since I know that L knows ALOT of people and may already know the guy I’m seeing, but may not that he,s the guy I’m seeing… thru discussion I’ve realized the L knows a lot of TA’s friends, so logically it would make sense for him to know who TA is as well… why he wants to me meet my TA, I don’t quite know, guess he’s curious as to what type of guy I’m with, who knows… but I’m surely not going to be the one that sets up an outing and invite the two… but if we all happened to be at the same place at the same time, then by all means, its not a problem… besides TA and I have never discussed any of the exs and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know that I have an ex in London, not because I’m hiding it or anything like that, but simply cause it hasn’t come up, especially since L and I dated some three years ago… so no biggie… right!?!? Anyways, if it ever came up, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell him cause I’ve got nothing to hide…
Hmmm… my friends are coming to visit from the states this weekend… so we’re headed to Paris for the weekend… which should be fun… a break from London is necessary… although my friends’ visit means I won’t really get to see TA that much for the next week or so, unless he comes out with us, it kinda leaves me a little sad… we haven’t been spending as much time together… well, this weekend I was dealing with some things and needed to be by myself, and now we’re both looking for flats to move into (separately, we not moving in together… I’m not crazy!!!), so between school, work, looking for flats, and sleep… there leaves little time left for couple time… but its cool, for now cause I’m sure we’ll make up it up :-)….

Hmmm… yeah looking for a new flat to move in… I’m looking for a studio or 1bdrm flat to move into… I simply need my own space… or to move into a flat share with like minded people… housing is ridiculously pricey here in London… and being the picky person that I am, I just can’t settle for anything… it must be up to my standard… I’d rather have a small and neat place, then a large sloppy & ugly place… I’d rather spend a little more on rent for my peace of mind, then be cheap and uncomfortable… If I’m going to live in London, I need to do it right or at least my way!

the men in my life

Things with TA (the guy I’m seeing) are going good… he’s not your typical guy, but then again, I’m not your typical gal… so I guess we’re a good match… but I haven’t really spoken much about him, and I probably won’t, since he doesn’t know I have a blog and I wouldn’t want to put too much of his business out there… anyways, TA comes off as ‘one of the guys’ type of guys, but he’s just as considerate as can be… it’s the small things that he does or doesn’t do that makes me appreciate him… for example, one Friday evening, he was having a guys nite at his house, but I didn’t know that and I told him I was gonna come by later after I was done running some errands… and he was like of course come by… and of course I took much longer than expected… and some of his boys were over at his place, they had made a run to get food and alcohol… and he being the considerate guy that he is, he brought me dinner and got me some nice wine (cause I don’t drink what him and his friends drink)… and it was just such a sweet gesture… I know his friends probably looked at him like he was crazy while in the liquor store when he bought the bottle of wine… and trust me, I know its such a small gesture, but for me, it’s the small things that matter the most :-)… like knowing what I like and making sure you have it around the house when I come over, even if its not something he likes… and sometimes when I question myself when we’re apart (you must remember, this relationship is quite young), I always remember how I feel when I’m with him and the constant smile on my face, and the great conversations about every and anything and then I’m rested assured, things are good… I could go on and on… but I know u all don’t want to hear about all the little things he does that I appreciate… but I do find it quite odd, that we don’t really talk on the phone that much… but when we’re together, we always have something to say to one another and the conversations range from silly to thought provoking to life desires and so much more… so I don’t think that’s a big issue, he’s not a big phone person and neither am I, unless you’re one of my girls and we’re gossiping :-)….

Its odd… me and my ex, L… we work for the same company in London… just a coincidence… anyways, our relationship is odd…. We talk about a variety of things that friends talk about, but then we also talk about other items, that I wouldn’t necessarily share with even my closest friends… I guess it has more to do with the fact that, we’ve already crossed those lines and boundaries years ago, so we’re not as shy to discuss some topics that wouldn’t normally come up with regular friends… I must admit, since I don’t have a proper female pal yet in London, its nice to be able to talk to him about some of those things… but sometimes it’s a bit odd… like telling I was seeing someone was difficult… even though we talk about him and all the girls that are chasing him all the time and all that… it took me a little while to getting around to tell him that and when I finally did… he was surprised… we were in the mall after church talking when it came up… I do miss having my girls around or my sisters around… I mean I talk to them all the time in email, texts and on the phone, but its not quite the same cause they’re not here so they can’t truly understand what’s going on or meet the guy I’m always talking about and so on and so on…