The last couple of days have been a complete blur to me… I’ve had so much happen that I don’t know what to begin… I found out about some information about my life (it’s a bit too personal for me to share), and it was big enough to threaten life as I know it… confused and dazed, and with no family in arm reach, I was left to make some hard decisions on my own… I was left to suffer the consequences of my actions… and as I struggled for the a few days about what I needed to do, what I should do, and looking for who to turn to, I found no answers for any of the questions… but then I went to church on Sunday… now usually have a long nite out of dancing and drinking on a Saturday evening, church usually didn’t happen the next day, but for some reason I woke up quite early on Sunday morning, tried to convince myself to go back to sleep, but it wasn’t working… so I reluctantly got out of my bed, go dressed and made the 45/50 minute commute to my church… and boy can I say that I’ve never been happier to go to church in my life… I go to Jesus House in Brent Cross, and it was only the second service I’d been to, but the sermon that pastor preached on Sunday touched me in a way that no other pastor or sermon had every reached me before… maybe it was because I was going through a tough time, maybe because I’ve never felt so alone in my life, or maybe because I needed to touch my heart… I simply don’t know… but as I wept (yes, little old me wept in church), I’d never felt so at peace with things in life… As the day progressed, I realized that I didn’t wake up early because I wasn’t tired or because the sun was shining into my room or because of any other reason than the fact that God knew that I needed to hear that sermon on Sunday in order to help me get thru my situation… me, not being one that likes to really show my emotions or vulnerable side, especially in public, was sitting in touch crying because I had been touched so much by the messaged preached on Sunday afternoon.
I know that everything happens for a reason… and although we may not be able to always understand or see the reasoning for certain things happening, I have no doubt that everything does happen for a reason. Am I going to become that overly religious person that preaches to everyone, everywhere, all the time… nope, its not in me to be that person… but I am becoming that person who is more guarded about the special relationship she has with God, making sure that nothing and no one comes between her and her creator… a person who has restored faith and hope, not only in life, but more importantly in myself… a person who see a light at the end of the tunnel, that just a few days was so dark… a person at peace with what life has brought her and how she has responded… a person who understands that you can’t truly know happiness unless you’ve truly known pain and sorrow… a person who can rejoice because she’s seen trials and tribulations and has survived to become a better and stronger person because of it… a person she can look at in the mirror everyday, smile at and respect… a person that is stronger than she ever thought possible…. a person that knows she’s going to try her best to be all she can be, but realizes that no one, but God, is perfect… a person that knows that life works in mysterious ways, and it is not my place to try to understand, but rather my place to have faith…
“Love truth, and pardon error.” ~Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
“Desire, ask, believe, receive. “~Stella Terrill Mann
“Sometimes it seems like God is difficult to find and impossibly far away. We get so caught up in our small daily duties and irritations that they become the only things that we can focus on. What we forget is that God's love and beauty are all around us, every day, if only we would take the time to look up and see them.” ~Matthias
“I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.” ~Mother Teresa
“EVERY path may lead you to God, even the weird ones. Most of us are on a journey. We’re looking for something, though we’re not always sure what that is. The way is foggy much of the time. I suggest you slow down and follow some of the side roads that appear suddenly in the mist.” ~Real Live Preacher
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
so much to share....
where do i start... loads had happened since i last blogged, which was just 5 days ago... i'll start with the highlights and work from there...
I seeing/dating someone, T... its official... how long did that take?? really, i've been in London for all of a month and a half and i'm already seeing someone... i have to admit, he is one of the few guys out of all the many that i've met, that really intrigues me.... we met my second weekend in London... well apparently we met, to be honest i don't remember really meeting him or talking to him for that long, but apparently we met at this club in London, we were all in the VIP section celebrating a friend of a friend's birthday... anyways, then we ran into each other again a couple weeks later, and this time he pulled me to the side and we talked briefly, exchanged numbers and went about our ways... he never called and I didn't think twice about it (with the whole 'American' accent thing, i was getting loads of attention :-))... then one day i was hanging out with a friend, D and my friend said that his friends were coming to pick us up to go out to get drinks and go to a club... i wasn't particularly in the mood to go clubbing and was about to call a taxi to go home, but i changed my mind... and when the taxi got there, with D's friends in the car, low and behold, there was the same guy, T, who i'd met before... anyways, at first destination of the evening, he promptly pulled me to the side to apologize for not calling, saying alot had been going on... and i simply replied 'that's cool, no biggie'... but he was determined to let me know he was still interested... when we finally got to the club, he managed to get me all to himself, which i honestly didn't mind... actually to be truthful, i really enjoyed :-)... and well we ended up hanging out together at the club the entire nite... we even managed to snug once or twice (so snug is a new lingo i've picked up since i've been in London, anyways, it means kiss)... yeah i know not typically my style, but for some reason he and I really clicked and it felt quite natural... and as i rode in my taxi home after the club, i hoped that he would called the next day as promised... and he did and the day after that and do on... and well, now we're dating :-)... now, all of this leads me to a conclusion that i realized the other day (ok, i didn't just realized it, i always knew it, but I would never admit it)... i'm scared shit less of commitment... i guess it scares me cause he brought it up, and it wasn't me that was asking about it... it does scare the living day lights out of me and now that i'm sorta committed to someone, it scares me... and you can bet that i shared that with him... not the part about being afraid of commitment, but rather about how everything scared me a little... and he replied saying 'but why, there's no need to be scared'.... and that calmed my nerves... but still...
imagine how surprised my best friends were when they heard the news... little Miss DD is committed to someone... they couldn't believe their ears and trust me, i don't blame them....
aside from all the hoopla about guys and this whole commitment things... i'm looking at the possibility of moving out of the flat that i'm currently renting... truth me told, i want to move a little closer to central London, I want to be closer to work (or at least live where its a better commute) and finally i need my own space... i have 2 flat mates, T & C... C is hella cool, quite and down to earth, really easy to get along with... no issues... T on the other hand is well... i just can't deal with it, the thing is we get along, but she irritates me and i can't take it anymore... i've tried to overlook it, but its difficult and i'm slowly losing my mind... you can tell that T was the only girl in her family, cause she's not use to sharing or being considerate of others, but then that doesn't make sense either cause she clearly shared accommodations with others when she was in undergrad, so i just don't understand... i don't like to nag and that's why i don't mention most of the things, but i can't be anyone's mother and be cleaning after people and so on... its not my style and something i am simply NOT use to ( i am the last born you know)... anyways, currently i live in Northeast London, and I'm looking to move to Northwest London... better locations and closer to the things that i need... and apparently i'm paying too much for the room that i am renting... i thought it was a little high, but not too bad, but it was cool cause i had a big enough walk-in closet (which is very important to me) and i was suppose to have my own bathroom attached just to my room.... well, i got the closet, but bathroom yet, the room is there, but they haven't out the bathroom yet , and no there's no deduction of my monthly rent... and the more i thought about it, th more I realized that i was being ripped off a little... they least they could do is take some of the monthly rent until the bathroom is built... anyways, all that aside, i think i'd be happier living by myself, especially since i've never really lived by myself, i think this would be a good opportunity since i'm getting to know my way around and adjusting to life without my family at a stone's throw... anyways, the goals is to start looking and move out by the end of the year... i just have to figure out a way to get out of my lease....
anyways, i should get back to doing my homework, cause that's what i was doing before i decided i need to update the blog world...
I seeing/dating someone, T... its official... how long did that take?? really, i've been in London for all of a month and a half and i'm already seeing someone... i have to admit, he is one of the few guys out of all the many that i've met, that really intrigues me.... we met my second weekend in London... well apparently we met, to be honest i don't remember really meeting him or talking to him for that long, but apparently we met at this club in London, we were all in the VIP section celebrating a friend of a friend's birthday... anyways, then we ran into each other again a couple weeks later, and this time he pulled me to the side and we talked briefly, exchanged numbers and went about our ways... he never called and I didn't think twice about it (with the whole 'American' accent thing, i was getting loads of attention :-))... then one day i was hanging out with a friend, D and my friend said that his friends were coming to pick us up to go out to get drinks and go to a club... i wasn't particularly in the mood to go clubbing and was about to call a taxi to go home, but i changed my mind... and when the taxi got there, with D's friends in the car, low and behold, there was the same guy, T, who i'd met before... anyways, at first destination of the evening, he promptly pulled me to the side to apologize for not calling, saying alot had been going on... and i simply replied 'that's cool, no biggie'... but he was determined to let me know he was still interested... when we finally got to the club, he managed to get me all to himself, which i honestly didn't mind... actually to be truthful, i really enjoyed :-)... and well we ended up hanging out together at the club the entire nite... we even managed to snug once or twice (so snug is a new lingo i've picked up since i've been in London, anyways, it means kiss)... yeah i know not typically my style, but for some reason he and I really clicked and it felt quite natural... and as i rode in my taxi home after the club, i hoped that he would called the next day as promised... and he did and the day after that and do on... and well, now we're dating :-)... now, all of this leads me to a conclusion that i realized the other day (ok, i didn't just realized it, i always knew it, but I would never admit it)... i'm scared shit less of commitment... i guess it scares me cause he brought it up, and it wasn't me that was asking about it... it does scare the living day lights out of me and now that i'm sorta committed to someone, it scares me... and you can bet that i shared that with him... not the part about being afraid of commitment, but rather about how everything scared me a little... and he replied saying 'but why, there's no need to be scared'.... and that calmed my nerves... but still...
imagine how surprised my best friends were when they heard the news... little Miss DD is committed to someone... they couldn't believe their ears and trust me, i don't blame them....
aside from all the hoopla about guys and this whole commitment things... i'm looking at the possibility of moving out of the flat that i'm currently renting... truth me told, i want to move a little closer to central London, I want to be closer to work (or at least live where its a better commute) and finally i need my own space... i have 2 flat mates, T & C... C is hella cool, quite and down to earth, really easy to get along with... no issues... T on the other hand is well... i just can't deal with it, the thing is we get along, but she irritates me and i can't take it anymore... i've tried to overlook it, but its difficult and i'm slowly losing my mind... you can tell that T was the only girl in her family, cause she's not use to sharing or being considerate of others, but then that doesn't make sense either cause she clearly shared accommodations with others when she was in undergrad, so i just don't understand... i don't like to nag and that's why i don't mention most of the things, but i can't be anyone's mother and be cleaning after people and so on... its not my style and something i am simply NOT use to ( i am the last born you know)... anyways, currently i live in Northeast London, and I'm looking to move to Northwest London... better locations and closer to the things that i need... and apparently i'm paying too much for the room that i am renting... i thought it was a little high, but not too bad, but it was cool cause i had a big enough walk-in closet (which is very important to me) and i was suppose to have my own bathroom attached just to my room.... well, i got the closet, but bathroom yet, the room is there, but they haven't out the bathroom yet , and no there's no deduction of my monthly rent... and the more i thought about it, th more I realized that i was being ripped off a little... they least they could do is take some of the monthly rent until the bathroom is built... anyways, all that aside, i think i'd be happier living by myself, especially since i've never really lived by myself, i think this would be a good opportunity since i'm getting to know my way around and adjusting to life without my family at a stone's throw... anyways, the goals is to start looking and move out by the end of the year... i just have to figure out a way to get out of my lease....
anyways, i should get back to doing my homework, cause that's what i was doing before i decided i need to update the blog world...
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
the first days of work...
so today was my second day of work... the work environment is okay, gonna take a little getting use to thought... its an open floor plan where i can see all my supervisors, managrs and co-workers... which means that they can see me as well :-/.... i guess it'll help to keep me focused on my work and all... but i do miss being in a cube and having a little privacy, but i must admit the open floor plan forces you to be more socialable and get to know your surrounding co-workers (whether you want to or NOT)... so far just been doing alot of reading of manuels and documents... not very fun, but necessary i guess...
anyways, i guess as the weeks go on, I'll begin to explore the work office and building... meet new people not on my floor... hopefully find some good eye candy :-)... and just interact with others within the company... the dress code for work is 'smart'... which is such an english term.... usually the american way to describe it would be work business casual... anyways, i do like that the dress code is business casual... my past jobs have been more casual dress... jeans and etc, even though my past jobs were in the corporate world, it was just a relaxed worked environment.. anyways, this business casual dress code will allow me to dress up more frequently... also give me more reason to go shopping :-)...
anyways on to other things..... tomorrow I'm going to lunch with the ex, L ... we work for the same company, but not in the same building... so he's treating me to lunch tomorrow... we're meeting for lunch and he better be treating me to lunch!!!
hmmm, so let me ask a general question... what's the deal with people you meet thru an online community such as Hi5 or Facebook... I guess my main question is, would you take the person serious or does it depends on the person and situation... i'll elaborate more on this topic soon.... and of course i do have a reason for asking ;-)...
i quite tired and will be back to write some more meaningful post in the next couple of days... but for now i'm off to bed...
anyways, i guess as the weeks go on, I'll begin to explore the work office and building... meet new people not on my floor... hopefully find some good eye candy :-)... and just interact with others within the company... the dress code for work is 'smart'... which is such an english term.... usually the american way to describe it would be work business casual... anyways, i do like that the dress code is business casual... my past jobs have been more casual dress... jeans and etc, even though my past jobs were in the corporate world, it was just a relaxed worked environment.. anyways, this business casual dress code will allow me to dress up more frequently... also give me more reason to go shopping :-)...
anyways on to other things..... tomorrow I'm going to lunch with the ex, L ... we work for the same company, but not in the same building... so he's treating me to lunch tomorrow... we're meeting for lunch and he better be treating me to lunch!!!
hmmm, so let me ask a general question... what's the deal with people you meet thru an online community such as Hi5 or Facebook... I guess my main question is, would you take the person serious or does it depends on the person and situation... i'll elaborate more on this topic soon.... and of course i do have a reason for asking ;-)...
i quite tired and will be back to write some more meaningful post in the next couple of days... but for now i'm off to bed...
Sunday, October 14, 2007
off to work tomorrow...
tomorrow is my first day of work in the UK... i'm all prepared... i have my high waisted skirt, with my white and black pin striped shirt from Hawes & Curtis... my black heels... my carrying bag... to say i'm excited is an understatement... can't wait to see how things work out tomorrow... let's hope there's some good eye candy in the office...
anyways, what a night last night (saturday) was... lets just say that the 'date' i went on didn't go so well.... but i'll devulge of that information on my next blog entry... til then... ta ta...
~DD
anyways, what a night last night (saturday) was... lets just say that the 'date' i went on didn't go so well.... but i'll devulge of that information on my next blog entry... til then... ta ta...
~DD
Saturday, October 13, 2007
lazy Saturday days....
So a nice lazy Saturday day… isn’t this nice… it would be except that I miss my little nephew waking me up at 8 something in the morning, and even though its quite obvious that I’m asleep, but he proceeds to have a conversation with me and then proceeds to jumping on my bed… and well it hard not having a list of things to do and places to go. So I guess its cause I haven’t started work yet and schools and just getting started so my schedule isn’t as packed as it usually is…
Today my day consists of hanging out all day doing nothing…. Running to the shopping center to pick up some items… and then going on a date… a date that I don’t really wanna go on… well its not that I don’t want to go, but its that the guy wants to be more than friends, and well I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not just that interested… for me, I usually know right away whether or not I like a guy, its not a process of getting to know him or not, its usually its immediate or not… that’s not to say that in the past that I haven’t grown to like some guys in the past, but it was usually over a long period of time, such a years and not necessarily weeks… and well since I’m only in London for a year and a half, well lets be honest its probably not gonna happen…
I miss my family and friends… I miss my old life style and everything in the states… sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision to move to London… why give up the good job, great friends, free living and everything else I had in the states, to basically come here to start all over… but then again the experience so far has been good… I’ve learned so much about myself and how I can adjust and adapt to things… life is quite different, but its different good…
I’m not gonna turn this blog into a miss the states and my old life blog, but more of a blog about my adventures in London… and my adjustment to the culture…
Today my day consists of hanging out all day doing nothing…. Running to the shopping center to pick up some items… and then going on a date… a date that I don’t really wanna go on… well its not that I don’t want to go, but its that the guy wants to be more than friends, and well I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not just that interested… for me, I usually know right away whether or not I like a guy, its not a process of getting to know him or not, its usually its immediate or not… that’s not to say that in the past that I haven’t grown to like some guys in the past, but it was usually over a long period of time, such a years and not necessarily weeks… and well since I’m only in London for a year and a half, well lets be honest its probably not gonna happen…
I miss my family and friends… I miss my old life style and everything in the states… sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision to move to London… why give up the good job, great friends, free living and everything else I had in the states, to basically come here to start all over… but then again the experience so far has been good… I’ve learned so much about myself and how I can adjust and adapt to things… life is quite different, but its different good…
I’m not gonna turn this blog into a miss the states and my old life blog, but more of a blog about my adventures in London… and my adjustment to the culture…
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Back In Action... in London...
Where do I start…. So its been forever since I’ve written in my blog…. Due to a variety of reasons… including no time, limited access to the internet, moving to London, school, work, getting settled in and on and on…
So anyways, on to more important things… I made the move to Londo.n… moved here the first week of September… got a full time job offer the second week of September… so I started to get settled in and adjust into life in London…
London is good so far… so many things to say and I don’t know where to start…
Okay, so I knew that the move would be drastic and would take a little while to get use to things here… its not the big differences, but rather the smaller things that get to you… the small things like the lingo/slang, the fact that they don’t have biscuits at KFC (yeah I know, its crazy), they call fries ‘chips’, there are no preserves in the food (so everything goes bad within a few days), its crazy hard to get a bank account, walking around in 4 inch heels are a negative and well, the people are rude, and well the list goes on and on and on…. But while complain :-)…. There’s so many good things about London, the accents are amazing, everyone is so amazed by my ‘American’ accent (that they are extra nice!!!), the fashion is unbelievable, the shops are amazing, people can be very nice and accommodating, the public transport is great, they show a lot of American shows and so on and so on….
My adventures in London have been many since I landed here about 6 weeks ago… its been non-stop relaxing and chilling for the first 5 weeks… I finally started school this week and I start next week… so I guess I’ll be getting settled into a routine soon and won’t be sleeping in and going out all the time anymore… oh well, it was good while it lasted, but to be honest, I’m ready to get back to working after a 6/7 week vacation….
School so far is good… can’t really complain yet… the classes are good and engaging most of the time… I haven’t started work yet, but I guess its worth mentioning that my ex, L (click here to read more about him or here) works there as well… no I’m not a stalker (LOL)… he only started working there about a week or 2 before I got the offer, it was just mere coincidence that we both got job offers from the same company… and as much as I like being around him, I’m glad that we’re not working in the department…
Anyways, I’ve met an interesting assortment of guys here so far…. I don’t know where to even begin with the guys… but so far they’ve made my stay in London interesting and engaging, as an understatement….
Anyways, I’ll be doing a much better job of keeping my blog updated…
So anyways, on to more important things… I made the move to Londo.n… moved here the first week of September… got a full time job offer the second week of September… so I started to get settled in and adjust into life in London…
London is good so far… so many things to say and I don’t know where to start…
Okay, so I knew that the move would be drastic and would take a little while to get use to things here… its not the big differences, but rather the smaller things that get to you… the small things like the lingo/slang, the fact that they don’t have biscuits at KFC (yeah I know, its crazy), they call fries ‘chips’, there are no preserves in the food (so everything goes bad within a few days), its crazy hard to get a bank account, walking around in 4 inch heels are a negative and well, the people are rude, and well the list goes on and on and on…. But while complain :-)…. There’s so many good things about London, the accents are amazing, everyone is so amazed by my ‘American’ accent (that they are extra nice!!!), the fashion is unbelievable, the shops are amazing, people can be very nice and accommodating, the public transport is great, they show a lot of American shows and so on and so on….
My adventures in London have been many since I landed here about 6 weeks ago… its been non-stop relaxing and chilling for the first 5 weeks… I finally started school this week and I start next week… so I guess I’ll be getting settled into a routine soon and won’t be sleeping in and going out all the time anymore… oh well, it was good while it lasted, but to be honest, I’m ready to get back to working after a 6/7 week vacation….
School so far is good… can’t really complain yet… the classes are good and engaging most of the time… I haven’t started work yet, but I guess its worth mentioning that my ex, L (click here to read more about him or here) works there as well… no I’m not a stalker (LOL)… he only started working there about a week or 2 before I got the offer, it was just mere coincidence that we both got job offers from the same company… and as much as I like being around him, I’m glad that we’re not working in the department…
Anyways, I’ve met an interesting assortment of guys here so far…. I don’t know where to even begin with the guys… but so far they’ve made my stay in London interesting and engaging, as an understatement….
Anyways, I’ll be doing a much better job of keeping my blog updated…
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