The real OC…
Aiight, when I left work last Friday evening, I was so excited… I was looking forward to an evening of doing absolutely nothing but watching some movies as I laid in bed… maybe talk to New Yorker for a little bit… but all in all, it was suppose to be a ME night, all about me and relaxing… I managed to get all my errands ran and be in my bed by 5:30pm, talk about lazy!!! Watched my first movie, Little Miss Sunshine… hilarious movie… then decided to take a quick break before popping in the next movie… then my friend, OC, called me… now here’s the story with me and OC… OC and I met late in 2005, maybe around September/October or so… we chilled for a little bit, went out on a few dates… he was a cool guy… then I met another guy name GW in November… GW and I really hit it off, we just really clicked… so I was chilling with both guys getting to know them and so on… then one night I was driving and I called OC on the phone, it was about 11pm or so, and apparently I woke OC up from his sleep, instead of him to just tell me that he was sleeping, he proceeded to talk on the phone and he ended up being really mean and rude and it was a real turn off, so I decided I was done with OC, especially since me and GW clicked more anyways… I stopped called OC and eventually he got the message…
So fast forward about 9 months to August 2006… I was having this huge Birthday party with one of my friends… so I invited everyone in my email address book including OC, without thinking about it… the evite had my number on it…. So OC started calling me again every once in a while, it didn’t bother me cause he’s a cool guy, but I knew that I couldn’t date him… anyways, lately OC has been calling me more talking about how he wants me to be his girl friend and how we’re so good together and so on and so on… I was surprised considering how we ended things and the face that he hadn’t seen me in over year (since the end of 05)… each time he called it was the same thing, the convo would start off cool, but then he’d manage to start talking me and him being together and so on… Anyways, he called me on like Tuesday night and was confession all these things about how he felt foe me and I wasn’t prepared… so I got off the phone and called him back on Thursday, but he didn’t pick up… then he calls me back on Friday… this past Friday… and I was trying to be nice about the situation and not come out and say that I won’t date him again, so I told him I was dating someone that I cared about… but that didn’t phase him… so I gave him the ultimate excuse, there’s no point in dating him cause he’s not Nigerian and I want to marry a Nigerian… I think that hit home for him… but even then he just kept going on and on about he doesn’t understand what the big deal is and blah blah blah and trying to make me feel guilty talking bout I broke his heart and he’s in so much pain and so on…
In my mind, I was thinking… REALLY, cuz u haven’t seen me in over a year and we don’t talk that often, where was all this really coming from… so anyways, after 2 hours, I managed to get off the phone with him… and well I though everything was resolved… then late Saturday night (or early Sunday morning) he started texting me all these crazy comments that we can try and make it work… I tried to ignore it but he was blowing up my phone so I replied and he was like he doesn’t understand… and by this time it was 4am and I was quite tipsy and exhausted from dancing all night… so the last text I sent said something to the affect that I’m dating someone I really care about and I’m not leaving him for anyone… we’ll talk about this later and good night… he’s response was quite angry with capital letters and all these exclamation marks… I was too tired to deal with it, so I went to sleep… I finally talked to him about it on Sunday nite and why the hell was he texting me all the stuff and that his last text was angry… we talked it out and well the resolution, he’s gonna have to work it out cause I’m not dating him again… if only New Yorker knew half the drama other guys put me through!!!
4 days to my marathon… and then after my marathon I get to spend some quality time with my New Yorker … cause I gotta go to Jersey for work and well he’s gonna come down and spend a day or two with me :-) (called New Yorker today from work… and the first thing outta his mouth was ‘can’t wait to see you on Monday baby’… )… can’t wait to see him next week!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
update....
Ok, so I’ve been MIA for a little bit… life’s just been a tad bit busy for me, that’s all…
Let’s see… I’ve went to the gym twice last week, and both types IN was like what’s up, what’s going on and just trying real hard to talk to me… and usually we talk after my workout, but both times he had clients and I wasn’t about to wait… he did call me one of the evenings, but I pretended to be asleep when I picked up the phone… So anyways, IN was blowing up my phone this weekend… he literally called me 7 times on Saturday evening between 8pm and 10:30pm (yes I went into my phone and counted how many times he called)… and he was spitting a whole bunch of non-sense… talking about how I’m playing him and how we should go out tonight and I’m like r u joking, i’ve got plans and its too last minute… I’m like I have plans, I’m going to DC… and of course he says, I’m going to DC too… where r u going in DC, maybe I’ll come hang out with you… NEGATIVE buddy… told him it was a small get together… which it kinda was… which leads me to my evening Saturday night… went to my friend’s house party in DC… it was mostly white people, but me and my girls had a blast… hadn’t had that much fun at a house party in years…
On to New Yorker… so the representative is officially gone and well I don’t like things as they are now… I mean, I’m not miserable, just not over the top happy like I usually am about New Yorker… I dunno what it is, but some time last weekend (not this one that just pasted, but MLK weekend) since then New Yorker has been a little MIA… like we haven’t been talking as much and he just seemed distracted… now I know that things are difficult for him at the moment with work, but that been the case since we started talking, so that can’t be the reason for him acting like this… sometime last week I decided that I was gonna be patient with him and the situation… cause technically he’s not my boyfriend and we are in an open relationship, but honestly if this thing is gonna work, he’s gonna have to give me all the attention and time that I need and that I give him… so New Yorker and I talked yesterday (Sunday) afternoon… he was blowing up my phone as well, calling on both my cell phones til I picked up the phone… and well he didn’t sound so happy when I finally picked up my phone, he was grilling me with questions talking about where r u, what did u do last night, what guy were you with and well u get the gist of it… I told him he needed to calm down and stop assuming I was doing anything wrong and I reassured him that I didn’t do anything with anyone, so after he calmed down he apologized… at first I was confused where all these crazy questions were coming from, but then again I did text him some random things the previous night while I was at my friend’s house party after drinking more than I probably should have (drunk texting is never a good idea)…
Anyways, we got over that hump and we were talking as usual… and I was gonna bring up the issue that I was having with him not being around as much and what was going on and so on… but before I could we got of the phone at like 4 or so (granted we were on the phone for over an hour, but I got so caught up in talking about other things with him that I never got a chance to mention what was on my mind)… and well, that was the last time I talked to him yesterday, I called him later in the evening and texted him, but nothing… no response… and I was thinking … see that’s the shit I’m talking about… so I went to bed a little annoyed… didn’t sleep well and I had this dream about me and him fussing… so I got up early and got ready for work and on my 40 minute drive to work, my phone rings very unexpectedly… and its New Yorker… said he was calling cause ‘he wanted to let me know that he was ok, that his phone died and that he had left it up the block at this boy’s place and that he woke up early cause he couldn’t sleep cause he didn’t get to talk to me and cause he didn’t me to be worrying that something happened to him and to wish me a good day and so on’…. Said he got up early and went up the block to get his phone just so he could talk to me… sweet, right… and I wanted to believe him just cause he NEVER gets up that early for anything, and that put a smile on my face.. And I told him that he was an interesting guy and that I’ll take that statement as face value and we’ll deal with what’s on my mind later…
But of course New Yorker was persistent and wanted to know what was the matter… said he didn’t want me to be angry or upset with him and I told him that’s he’s been MIA for the last week or so and that all those questions about me always being with some other guy makes me think that he’s only asking me that cause he’s doing stuff with other women… and of course, New Yorker is a sweet talker and said that he’s sorry about not being around as much as I want him to be and he’ll fix it and that he only asks me those question cause he feels like he has the best girl in town and he doesn’t want any other guy touching me… that’s he not doing anything with any other girl… and so on and so on… needless to say he got back on my good side again… and well it did feel good to talk to him and get things cleared up… and I appreciate the way he was persistent about clearing the air between us and making sure that everything was cool before I got to work and he went back to sleep… I miss him already and we just got off the phone 3 hours ago… can’t wait til he gets up so we can talk again :-)…
My weekend was packed… I’ll blog about my Friday nite later… fully of drama :-/ from this guy I used to date, we’ll call him OC…. I’ll explain all about that in my next post…
Quotes....
"I am more and more convinced that our happiness depends more on how we meet the events in our lives, than on those events themselves." ~Alexander Humboldt
"The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway." Henry Boye
"If my hands are fully occupied in holding on to something, I can neither give nor receive. " ~Dorothee Solle
Let’s see… I’ve went to the gym twice last week, and both types IN was like what’s up, what’s going on and just trying real hard to talk to me… and usually we talk after my workout, but both times he had clients and I wasn’t about to wait… he did call me one of the evenings, but I pretended to be asleep when I picked up the phone… So anyways, IN was blowing up my phone this weekend… he literally called me 7 times on Saturday evening between 8pm and 10:30pm (yes I went into my phone and counted how many times he called)… and he was spitting a whole bunch of non-sense… talking about how I’m playing him and how we should go out tonight and I’m like r u joking, i’ve got plans and its too last minute… I’m like I have plans, I’m going to DC… and of course he says, I’m going to DC too… where r u going in DC, maybe I’ll come hang out with you… NEGATIVE buddy… told him it was a small get together… which it kinda was… which leads me to my evening Saturday night… went to my friend’s house party in DC… it was mostly white people, but me and my girls had a blast… hadn’t had that much fun at a house party in years…
On to New Yorker… so the representative is officially gone and well I don’t like things as they are now… I mean, I’m not miserable, just not over the top happy like I usually am about New Yorker… I dunno what it is, but some time last weekend (not this one that just pasted, but MLK weekend) since then New Yorker has been a little MIA… like we haven’t been talking as much and he just seemed distracted… now I know that things are difficult for him at the moment with work, but that been the case since we started talking, so that can’t be the reason for him acting like this… sometime last week I decided that I was gonna be patient with him and the situation… cause technically he’s not my boyfriend and we are in an open relationship, but honestly if this thing is gonna work, he’s gonna have to give me all the attention and time that I need and that I give him… so New Yorker and I talked yesterday (Sunday) afternoon… he was blowing up my phone as well, calling on both my cell phones til I picked up the phone… and well he didn’t sound so happy when I finally picked up my phone, he was grilling me with questions talking about where r u, what did u do last night, what guy were you with and well u get the gist of it… I told him he needed to calm down and stop assuming I was doing anything wrong and I reassured him that I didn’t do anything with anyone, so after he calmed down he apologized… at first I was confused where all these crazy questions were coming from, but then again I did text him some random things the previous night while I was at my friend’s house party after drinking more than I probably should have (drunk texting is never a good idea)…
Anyways, we got over that hump and we were talking as usual… and I was gonna bring up the issue that I was having with him not being around as much and what was going on and so on… but before I could we got of the phone at like 4 or so (granted we were on the phone for over an hour, but I got so caught up in talking about other things with him that I never got a chance to mention what was on my mind)… and well, that was the last time I talked to him yesterday, I called him later in the evening and texted him, but nothing… no response… and I was thinking … see that’s the shit I’m talking about… so I went to bed a little annoyed… didn’t sleep well and I had this dream about me and him fussing… so I got up early and got ready for work and on my 40 minute drive to work, my phone rings very unexpectedly… and its New Yorker… said he was calling cause ‘he wanted to let me know that he was ok, that his phone died and that he had left it up the block at this boy’s place and that he woke up early cause he couldn’t sleep cause he didn’t get to talk to me and cause he didn’t me to be worrying that something happened to him and to wish me a good day and so on’…. Said he got up early and went up the block to get his phone just so he could talk to me… sweet, right… and I wanted to believe him just cause he NEVER gets up that early for anything, and that put a smile on my face.. And I told him that he was an interesting guy and that I’ll take that statement as face value and we’ll deal with what’s on my mind later…
But of course New Yorker was persistent and wanted to know what was the matter… said he didn’t want me to be angry or upset with him and I told him that’s he’s been MIA for the last week or so and that all those questions about me always being with some other guy makes me think that he’s only asking me that cause he’s doing stuff with other women… and of course, New Yorker is a sweet talker and said that he’s sorry about not being around as much as I want him to be and he’ll fix it and that he only asks me those question cause he feels like he has the best girl in town and he doesn’t want any other guy touching me… that’s he not doing anything with any other girl… and so on and so on… needless to say he got back on my good side again… and well it did feel good to talk to him and get things cleared up… and I appreciate the way he was persistent about clearing the air between us and making sure that everything was cool before I got to work and he went back to sleep… I miss him already and we just got off the phone 3 hours ago… can’t wait til he gets up so we can talk again :-)…
My weekend was packed… I’ll blog about my Friday nite later… fully of drama :-/ from this guy I used to date, we’ll call him OC…. I’ll explain all about that in my next post…
Quotes....
"I am more and more convinced that our happiness depends more on how we meet the events in our lives, than on those events themselves." ~Alexander Humboldt
"The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway." Henry Boye
"If my hands are fully occupied in holding on to something, I can neither give nor receive. " ~Dorothee Solle
Friday, January 19, 2007
M I A ...
sorry i've been MIA.... been a busy week at work... had a lot on the mind lately... but will update very soon....
have a great weekend...
have a great weekend...
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Re-Focusing …
Re-Focusing …
And so I was reading Naijadude’s post the other day, Be Yourself…. And it made me realize that I’ve been distracted lately… before the holiday season, before I met IN and before I started kicking it with New Yorker, I was so focused on applying to school in the UK for grad school and figuring what I wanted from life, trying to figure out the next step for myself… But I’ve been so slack about it lately… my plan was to have all my applications out by the end of December… well, let’s just say December 31st came and went by with out me making a visit to the post office :-/… but no worries, my applications aren’t due until March, but I’ve resolved to continue to work on them and hopefully send most of them out by the beginning of February… worked on one of my personal statement for one of the schools, think I’m just about done with it, sent it to my sister to proof read... once I have the first personal statement done for grad school, the rest will be easy… I’ll just have to make minor adjustment to the first personal statement for grad school and I just finished the personal statement for the intership.. … I got 5 applications to finish… 4 are for school and 1 is an internship program… so I’m back on the grind with that…
And I realized that I never finished making my list of personal goals for 2007:
Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will work. –Dr. Robert Anderson
And so I was reading Naijadude’s post the other day, Be Yourself…. And it made me realize that I’ve been distracted lately… before the holiday season, before I met IN and before I started kicking it with New Yorker, I was so focused on applying to school in the UK for grad school and figuring what I wanted from life, trying to figure out the next step for myself… But I’ve been so slack about it lately… my plan was to have all my applications out by the end of December… well, let’s just say December 31st came and went by with out me making a visit to the post office :-/… but no worries, my applications aren’t due until March, but I’ve resolved to continue to work on them and hopefully send most of them out by the beginning of February… worked on one of my personal statement for one of the schools, think I’m just about done with it, sent it to my sister to proof read... once I have the first personal statement done for grad school, the rest will be easy… I’ll just have to make minor adjustment to the first personal statement for grad school and I just finished the personal statement for the intership.. … I got 5 applications to finish… 4 are for school and 1 is an internship program… so I’m back on the grind with that…
And I realized that I never finished making my list of personal goals for 2007:
- Lose these last 10/15 pounds that I’ve been playing with for a few months
- Travel to 2 places I’ve never been (one being Atlanta - cause I’ve never been…)
- Participate in another running event (Aside from my Marathon at the end of January)
- Go back to school
- ...
- ...
- ...
Haven't quite finished the goal list yet, but still working on it...
And on the New Yorker situation... he makes me happy at the moment and i can't remember the last time i've been this happy... so i'm gonna go with the flow... I'm sure i'll eventually talk things thru with New Yorker and we'll take it from there; but for now, we're still early in our relationship, so no need to jump the gun on things... so i'm just going with the flow :-)...
Some quotes:
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have, or could have had. No one waits forever...
There is a time for risky love. There is a time for extravagant gestures. There is a time to pour out your affections on one you love. And when the time comes --seize it, don't miss it. ~Max Lucado
Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will work. –Dr. Robert Anderson
I don't cross my bridges until I get to them... I've spent a lot of time defeating myself crossing bridges that I never get to, so now I just deal with whatever reality is in front of me and not necessarily what ifs... ~Anon
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
logic over emotion???
And so… after the entire weekend New Yorker and I talked briefly on Sunday cause I was riding in the car with 3 other people and didn’t want to be rude and it was late when I got home… so we didn’t get to really talk til yesterday… we talked last night… talked about the weekend and how we had such a good time together and so on… said he was really feeling me and so on… we talked again about commitment issues…told him I couldn’t afford to get too attached to him, especially not this early… but he says and does all the right things... he's concerned about all the small things, especially all the small things that matter to me... what's crazy is that whenever i even get a small doubt in my mind, its like he knows and calls or texts me and everything seems to be right with the world again... corny, i know... but that's just how I feel about my shortie...
Talked to one of my good friend, AG, last nite… AG and I went to college together, she was one of the first people I met in Undergrad and still keep in touch with even though she lives far away… anyways, AG and I are very similar in many ways, except that sometimes she more neurotic than I am, but at least emotionally we are both alike… and she advised me saying that DD don’t date someone that you can’t marry... and that the open dating situation sounds good in logic, but that if she knows me as well as she does its not gonna work out as simple as I am making it out to sound… and truth be told, it wouldn’t be that simple… I already know that… AG believes that either way someone is going to get hurt in this relationship and that I should imagine how hard it will be to give him up later if I decide I can’t marry him, when I already have a hard time going a couple of hours with talking to him… she’s right, it will be difficult, either now or later… but probably harder later… I don’t want to string him along, I kinda want to lay the whole thing out there so that he understands where I’m coming from, but then again when I try to explain it just sounds (as in AG’s words) that I’m just with him for the attention and affection, and when the right Nigerian guy comes along that I will dump New Yorker all together… and that’s not the case, I promise… I’m tempted to just keep going with the flow of things and let things progress naturally… yeah I know we mention getting married, having kids and the future, but its not like we’re seriously planning or any of that stuff (or at least I’m not)… but then again I don’t want him to get so emotionally invested in me and then I turn around and give him some BS story about how I can’t be with him cause he’s not Nigerian…
Today we (New Yokrer and I) were talking and he’s at his friend’s house when he calls me… and I guess she asked who he was on the phone with and his reply was wifey…. all of a sudden, i'm wifey now… when did I become wifey… not to say that I mind… actually it put a little smile across my face cause he’s all about telling them who I am… and my status with him…
In case u can’t tell, I am terribly confused… I really like this dude, but don’t wanna hurt him… there is soooo much potential for me and him… and yet there are some road blocks already… well not some, just one major road block that I don’t know if I can ever come to over look… my head says that I’m still young and I should just enjoy the experience cause he’s a great guy with his head on straight… but my heart says you can’t put me in a vulnerable position to fall for a guy that you know u can’t be with forever… logic says that an open relationship is very manageable and would work well in this situation… emotions say I’m already attached to New Yorker and I don’t want him seeing any other females… my head over my heart… logic over emotions… whats a girl to do???
"The mind is no match with the heart in persuasion; constitutionality is no match with compassion. " ~ Senator Everett Dirksen
Talked to one of my good friend, AG, last nite… AG and I went to college together, she was one of the first people I met in Undergrad and still keep in touch with even though she lives far away… anyways, AG and I are very similar in many ways, except that sometimes she more neurotic than I am, but at least emotionally we are both alike… and she advised me saying that DD don’t date someone that you can’t marry... and that the open dating situation sounds good in logic, but that if she knows me as well as she does its not gonna work out as simple as I am making it out to sound… and truth be told, it wouldn’t be that simple… I already know that… AG believes that either way someone is going to get hurt in this relationship and that I should imagine how hard it will be to give him up later if I decide I can’t marry him, when I already have a hard time going a couple of hours with talking to him… she’s right, it will be difficult, either now or later… but probably harder later… I don’t want to string him along, I kinda want to lay the whole thing out there so that he understands where I’m coming from, but then again when I try to explain it just sounds (as in AG’s words) that I’m just with him for the attention and affection, and when the right Nigerian guy comes along that I will dump New Yorker all together… and that’s not the case, I promise… I’m tempted to just keep going with the flow of things and let things progress naturally… yeah I know we mention getting married, having kids and the future, but its not like we’re seriously planning or any of that stuff (or at least I’m not)… but then again I don’t want him to get so emotionally invested in me and then I turn around and give him some BS story about how I can’t be with him cause he’s not Nigerian…
Today we (New Yokrer and I) were talking and he’s at his friend’s house when he calls me… and I guess she asked who he was on the phone with and his reply was wifey…. all of a sudden, i'm wifey now… when did I become wifey… not to say that I mind… actually it put a little smile across my face cause he’s all about telling them who I am… and my status with him…
In case u can’t tell, I am terribly confused… I really like this dude, but don’t wanna hurt him… there is soooo much potential for me and him… and yet there are some road blocks already… well not some, just one major road block that I don’t know if I can ever come to over look… my head says that I’m still young and I should just enjoy the experience cause he’s a great guy with his head on straight… but my heart says you can’t put me in a vulnerable position to fall for a guy that you know u can’t be with forever… logic says that an open relationship is very manageable and would work well in this situation… emotions say I’m already attached to New Yorker and I don’t want him seeing any other females… my head over my heart… logic over emotions… whats a girl to do???
"The mind is no match with the heart in persuasion; constitutionality is no match with compassion. " ~ Senator Everett Dirksen
Monday, January 08, 2007
New York for the nite... with my New Yorker...
OMG… 23 miles is a long ways… but I am glad to say that I completed the 23 miles run this weekend successfully… I was in a lot of pain afterwards, but I am glad I did it and it made me feel so much more confident about my marathon in 3 weeks… excited!!!
So my friend, AB and I, finished running… we went to her place to get ready for NY… called our friend, NB, to head over cause we’d be ready to leave soon… anyways, after a whole bunch of random events, we finally made it onto the bus… we only caught the bus cause it was cheap, convenient and we had a ride back with our friend who had left for NY the day before…
Anyways, I tired to take a nap on the bus, but it wasn’t happening… everyone kept calling me to make sure we we’re still coming (turns out a lot of my friends were in NY that weekend and were planning on going to the same party)… so my phone was ringing off the hook, and not to mention New Yorker was calling to make sure I was still coming and to see how far away we were and so on… finally made it to New York… the bus was suppose to drop us off at Penn Station, but it stopped in Chinatown and they told everyone to get off… hmmm, guess that what you get for the cheap ride, but the ride was surprisingly comfortable… anyways, we make our way to Harlem, luckily NB knew the train system and we navigated our self to our friend, C’s place… we finally made it to C’s place at like 10pm, where she had a nice home cooked meal and drinks waiting for us! What a great host!!!
Anyways, New Yorker and his boy showed up around midnight to pick us up… my first impression (cause I haven’t seen him in over 3 weeks, which was the first time we met)… was he’s as cute as I remember… was surprised at how natural it felt when we hugged… and in the back of my mind, I knew that it was gonna be a great evening… we’re all in the car talking, laughing and tripping… it was six of us in the car (we were riding in a Hummer, so it was comfortable)… but I really wished that it was just New Yorker and me, as we sat in the car and texted each other as we drove to the club… we finally made it to the party, the guys dropped us off and went to go park and when we walked into the party, first people we see are some friends that are in town… and one of them is like my little brother from college, FC… (quick side note: I met FC his freshmen year in college and my junior year and we just really clicked, he was like a little brother to me… anyways, a couple of months ago when I went back to my school for homecoming, I saw FC at a party and he was beyond drunk… I was pretty tipsy myself… but I sobered up when I saw the FC needed someone to watch him and take care of him… anyways, that nite FC kissed me and it totally threw me off and I just blamed it on the alcohol.. we never talked about it and I just assumed that he was too drunk to remember what happened…) So anyways, as I walked into this club, I say hi to the girls and then to FC… except that FC pulls me a little too close, not just like a friend close to give a hug, but a little too close for my comfort… and he started coming on a little strong which I didn’t expect and I tried to play it off and one again chuck it up to the fact that he had been drinking. Normally I wouldn’t have paid it any attention, except that he had called me earlier in the evening on my ride up, talking about I’ve been thinking about you and I can’t wait to see u and so on…
Anyways, New Yorker and his boy came into the club a few minutes a later and well I pretty much stayed with him the entire time at the party… it was a little too much PDA between New Yorker and myself, for my own taste… the holding hands and dancing and stuff was cute… but the kissing and so on that occurred was totally not necessary… but in my defense, I let him take the lead (PDA doesn’t bother me in general and I’m not opposed to it, so I usually let the guy lead incase he feels a particular way about it)… well, let’s just say that New Yorker had no shame in his game, he had no problems showing everyone that he was feeling me and vice versa…. It was cool though, me and New Yorker were that couple u look at and say ‘get a room’… hmmm… anyways, after the club we went to get some dinner or rather breakfast in the city before heading back home for the evening…
It was definitely hard saying bye to New Yorker on Sunday afternoon when we were getting ready to leave… it was so nice to be with him, see him and spend time with him… we had a really good time together… all the worries went out the window and everything just clicked between us… which I’m glad it did… but he started talking about long-term stuff again… hmmm, which worried me….
After New Yorker left, my friends and I went to brunch before hitting the road… Got home around midnight and it was a struggle to get up this morning at 6am… so I didn’t… stayed my butt in bed til like 9:30 when New Yorker called me to see how I was doing…
The verdict is that I do like New Yorker a lot, but I’m just not sure about the future… not sure how much potential our relationship has… but for now, I’m just going with the flow… New Yorker may be coming up here this weekend, but its not definite yet…
After I finished talking to New Yorker this morning, I called my ex, L, this morning… I had a dream about him last night that really scared me, so I had to call him to make sure he was okay and to check up on him … he’s doing well he says, and I briefly told him about the dream and begged him to be careful… the dream really scared me… I usually don’t remember my dreams, but this dream was so clear and vivid… as I was telling L to be careful and take care of himself, I felt tears coming down my face cause the dream scared me… L has a way of easing my fears, he was able to calm me down and make me feel better (that's one of the great things about him)... As usual we talked about a whole bunch of things... especially the future, he tried to ask if or who I'm dating and I manage to beat around the bush with my answer, but i'm always straight forward with him, i simply ask 'so, who's the new girl in your life'... he says he doesn't have one, and i believe him... we talk about moving to Nigeria, cause he just got back from Naija on Saturday evening... suprising that he wants to move to Nigeria now, cause when we were dating I told him that I planned on moving to Nigeria and he wasn't trilled with the idea, but considered it then cause we were making plans for the future... but now i'm glad to hear that he's planning on moving back... I wouldn't or couldn't tell L about New Yorker... one, its too early in relationship with New Yorker and secondly, I already know what he's going to say... anyways, it was great talking to L, its always great talking to him... hadn't talked to him since he left for Nigeria a few weeks ago... but i'm just glad that he's doing well...
I finally made it to work around noon today… I’ve still not recovered from my run or the events on Saturday evening with my friends & New Yorker… but it was worth it… cause I had a great time…
So my friend, AB and I, finished running… we went to her place to get ready for NY… called our friend, NB, to head over cause we’d be ready to leave soon… anyways, after a whole bunch of random events, we finally made it onto the bus… we only caught the bus cause it was cheap, convenient and we had a ride back with our friend who had left for NY the day before…
Anyways, I tired to take a nap on the bus, but it wasn’t happening… everyone kept calling me to make sure we we’re still coming (turns out a lot of my friends were in NY that weekend and were planning on going to the same party)… so my phone was ringing off the hook, and not to mention New Yorker was calling to make sure I was still coming and to see how far away we were and so on… finally made it to New York… the bus was suppose to drop us off at Penn Station, but it stopped in Chinatown and they told everyone to get off… hmmm, guess that what you get for the cheap ride, but the ride was surprisingly comfortable… anyways, we make our way to Harlem, luckily NB knew the train system and we navigated our self to our friend, C’s place… we finally made it to C’s place at like 10pm, where she had a nice home cooked meal and drinks waiting for us! What a great host!!!
Anyways, New Yorker and his boy showed up around midnight to pick us up… my first impression (cause I haven’t seen him in over 3 weeks, which was the first time we met)… was he’s as cute as I remember… was surprised at how natural it felt when we hugged… and in the back of my mind, I knew that it was gonna be a great evening… we’re all in the car talking, laughing and tripping… it was six of us in the car (we were riding in a Hummer, so it was comfortable)… but I really wished that it was just New Yorker and me, as we sat in the car and texted each other as we drove to the club… we finally made it to the party, the guys dropped us off and went to go park and when we walked into the party, first people we see are some friends that are in town… and one of them is like my little brother from college, FC… (quick side note: I met FC his freshmen year in college and my junior year and we just really clicked, he was like a little brother to me… anyways, a couple of months ago when I went back to my school for homecoming, I saw FC at a party and he was beyond drunk… I was pretty tipsy myself… but I sobered up when I saw the FC needed someone to watch him and take care of him… anyways, that nite FC kissed me and it totally threw me off and I just blamed it on the alcohol.. we never talked about it and I just assumed that he was too drunk to remember what happened…) So anyways, as I walked into this club, I say hi to the girls and then to FC… except that FC pulls me a little too close, not just like a friend close to give a hug, but a little too close for my comfort… and he started coming on a little strong which I didn’t expect and I tried to play it off and one again chuck it up to the fact that he had been drinking. Normally I wouldn’t have paid it any attention, except that he had called me earlier in the evening on my ride up, talking about I’ve been thinking about you and I can’t wait to see u and so on…
Anyways, New Yorker and his boy came into the club a few minutes a later and well I pretty much stayed with him the entire time at the party… it was a little too much PDA between New Yorker and myself, for my own taste… the holding hands and dancing and stuff was cute… but the kissing and so on that occurred was totally not necessary… but in my defense, I let him take the lead (PDA doesn’t bother me in general and I’m not opposed to it, so I usually let the guy lead incase he feels a particular way about it)… well, let’s just say that New Yorker had no shame in his game, he had no problems showing everyone that he was feeling me and vice versa…. It was cool though, me and New Yorker were that couple u look at and say ‘get a room’… hmmm… anyways, after the club we went to get some dinner or rather breakfast in the city before heading back home for the evening…
It was definitely hard saying bye to New Yorker on Sunday afternoon when we were getting ready to leave… it was so nice to be with him, see him and spend time with him… we had a really good time together… all the worries went out the window and everything just clicked between us… which I’m glad it did… but he started talking about long-term stuff again… hmmm, which worried me….
After New Yorker left, my friends and I went to brunch before hitting the road… Got home around midnight and it was a struggle to get up this morning at 6am… so I didn’t… stayed my butt in bed til like 9:30 when New Yorker called me to see how I was doing…
The verdict is that I do like New Yorker a lot, but I’m just not sure about the future… not sure how much potential our relationship has… but for now, I’m just going with the flow… New Yorker may be coming up here this weekend, but its not definite yet…
After I finished talking to New Yorker this morning, I called my ex, L, this morning… I had a dream about him last night that really scared me, so I had to call him to make sure he was okay and to check up on him … he’s doing well he says, and I briefly told him about the dream and begged him to be careful… the dream really scared me… I usually don’t remember my dreams, but this dream was so clear and vivid… as I was telling L to be careful and take care of himself, I felt tears coming down my face cause the dream scared me… L has a way of easing my fears, he was able to calm me down and make me feel better (that's one of the great things about him)... As usual we talked about a whole bunch of things... especially the future, he tried to ask if or who I'm dating and I manage to beat around the bush with my answer, but i'm always straight forward with him, i simply ask 'so, who's the new girl in your life'... he says he doesn't have one, and i believe him... we talk about moving to Nigeria, cause he just got back from Naija on Saturday evening... suprising that he wants to move to Nigeria now, cause when we were dating I told him that I planned on moving to Nigeria and he wasn't trilled with the idea, but considered it then cause we were making plans for the future... but now i'm glad to hear that he's planning on moving back... I wouldn't or couldn't tell L about New Yorker... one, its too early in relationship with New Yorker and secondly, I already know what he's going to say... anyways, it was great talking to L, its always great talking to him... hadn't talked to him since he left for Nigeria a few weeks ago... but i'm just glad that he's doing well...
I finally made it to work around noon today… I’ve still not recovered from my run or the events on Saturday evening with my friends & New Yorker… but it was worth it… cause I had a great time…
Friday, January 05, 2007
Running into IN... NY for the weekend...
So I went to the gym Wednesday evening… first time I’d been to the gym since the week before Christmas (just been running instead… cause my gym is close to my job and not where I live) anyways… I was hoping I wouldn’t see IN, but I knew that the chances of that happening were slim… so I just finished working out on the machines upstairs and was heading down stairs to do some circuit training and work on my abs… when I see IN walking up the stairs with a client… all I could think was “Yes, he’s busy, so at least he won’t be able to corner me…”… I tried to walk by nonchalantly and just hey and keep it moving, but as soon as he saw me, he smiled and said ‘ that’s messed up… we need to talk…’ and I said ok and kept walking…. Talk… talk about what… so anyways, I was stretching and finishing my up my workout, when IN came by and starting talking about how I totally forgot about him and blah blah blah… and I simply said to him, jokingly… I told you have a short attention span and that I deserve a lot of attention (note: I’m not a diva (although my friends may beg to differ), but if a guy is interested, he needs to act like he is… I don’t have time for games…) and he replied, but I called u last week… and I simply said yeah u called me once after not seeing me in the gym for 2 weeks… and the convo went on in that manner… then he’s like if you’re done with your workout, let’s go grab some dinner… but I couldn’t, I had somewhere else I have to be at within the hour, so I declined… he’s like, but we should talk… and I simply replied you know my number and walked away… now if IN was really serious, he should have call me later Wednesday night or even yesterday… but nope, nothing… but then again I wasn’t expecting him to call nor did I really want him to call… so anyways, case & point… IN is just gonna be a friend…
Anyways, on to pressing issues… I’m going to NY tomorrow and I'm gonna get to see New Yorker… can’t wait to see him… this trip was already planned b4 I mean New Yorker, cause one of my friends that lives in DC, that's a promotor, is having this huge party in NY so me and my girls are going for the party… Anyways, I’m just happy that it worked out this way cause now I get to see my baby as well… now, I really want to spend time with New Yorker, but I definitely don’t want to miss the party that I was planning on going to, so I’m thinking that neither I hang out with New Yorker b4 I go out with my friends or invite him and his boys to come along to the party…. I kinda mentioned that to him as well about him coming to the party… and he’s like whatever I want to do is cool as long we’re together… so I dunno… I’m not big on bringing a guy I’m talking to a party in general (just cause things aren't really defined yet and so on), but then I don’t want to abandon my friends for New Yorker or vice versa… but inviting him to the party sounds like the best option and it may all work out especially since I do want to see him so much…
Tomorrow is the big day for me… I’ll be running 23 miles in the morning… it’ll be the furthest I’ve ever run and the most I will run before my marathon… The Marathon is in exactly 3 weeks from this Sunday… Once I finish this 23 mile run, I will feel much more confident about my marathon and being able to complete it… training has been so hard for this marathon, but it’s been worth it…
Yes, I know I have a packed day tomorrow… first the run in the morning, then riding up to NY, then the party... it's all good though, I can handle it... besides I’ve been resting up and everything all week, so I should be good… have a great weekend…
Anyways, on to pressing issues… I’m going to NY tomorrow and I'm gonna get to see New Yorker… can’t wait to see him… this trip was already planned b4 I mean New Yorker, cause one of my friends that lives in DC, that's a promotor, is having this huge party in NY so me and my girls are going for the party… Anyways, I’m just happy that it worked out this way cause now I get to see my baby as well… now, I really want to spend time with New Yorker, but I definitely don’t want to miss the party that I was planning on going to, so I’m thinking that neither I hang out with New Yorker b4 I go out with my friends or invite him and his boys to come along to the party…. I kinda mentioned that to him as well about him coming to the party… and he’s like whatever I want to do is cool as long we’re together… so I dunno… I’m not big on bringing a guy I’m talking to a party in general (just cause things aren't really defined yet and so on), but then I don’t want to abandon my friends for New Yorker or vice versa… but inviting him to the party sounds like the best option and it may all work out especially since I do want to see him so much…
Tomorrow is the big day for me… I’ll be running 23 miles in the morning… it’ll be the furthest I’ve ever run and the most I will run before my marathon… The Marathon is in exactly 3 weeks from this Sunday… Once I finish this 23 mile run, I will feel much more confident about my marathon and being able to complete it… training has been so hard for this marathon, but it’s been worth it…
Yes, I know I have a packed day tomorrow… first the run in the morning, then riding up to NY, then the party... it's all good though, I can handle it... besides I’ve been resting up and everything all week, so I should be good… have a great weekend…
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
3.09am
3:09am… I was awoken from my sleep with a text… ‘I’m on my way home’… it was my baby (New Yorker… yeah I know it early to be giving each other cute little nicknames, but that started as soon as we started talking)… he went bowling/drinking with his boys last night and well I wanted to call to say good night earlier in the evening, but I didn’t want to call him while he was with his boys cause I don’t want to crowd him… after I replied to text, we went back and forth for 10 minutes… he wanted to make sure it was ok for him to call me since I was already sleeping, he didn’t want to disturb me even more… but of course I told him it was cool… its always nice to hear his voice… he called me a few minutes later when he got home… said he wanted to call me earlier when they were bowling cause he knew I was going to bed early, but his boys been teasing him like crazy about us always being on the phone, so I understood… cause well, we are always on the phone, sometimes he calls them (his boys) on 3-way with me, just so me and him don’t have to get off the phone… and when I call him, he answers the phone ‘Hey baby’ even around his boys… so I understood…
We talked for a little bit before we both decided it was time for bed… I dunno what it is about this guy, but he is the sweetest thing… always knows exactly what to say, to make my heart do that little skip & jump, and put a smile on my face…
Anyways, New Yorker has a game plan for his job and life and things in 07 in general… said he was gonna start putting it into action… but I knew it was gonna be rough for to get up this morning after a nite out with his boys… had to call him this morning to make sure he was up and getting ready to go into the office… now all of this isn’t strange at all, but when I started thinking about it, I realize that when he talks about the plan for work and the future, its always ‘us’ and ‘we’ and so on… and the fact that when I called his this morning, I was like ‘baby, you gotta get up and start working on the plan…. Blah blah blah”… made me start thinking… when did I get so concerned about his plan, the plan or our plan… i'm just suppose to be going with the flow?
We talked for a little bit before we both decided it was time for bed… I dunno what it is about this guy, but he is the sweetest thing… always knows exactly what to say, to make my heart do that little skip & jump, and put a smile on my face…
Anyways, New Yorker has a game plan for his job and life and things in 07 in general… said he was gonna start putting it into action… but I knew it was gonna be rough for to get up this morning after a nite out with his boys… had to call him this morning to make sure he was up and getting ready to go into the office… now all of this isn’t strange at all, but when I started thinking about it, I realize that when he talks about the plan for work and the future, its always ‘us’ and ‘we’ and so on… and the fact that when I called his this morning, I was like ‘baby, you gotta get up and start working on the plan…. Blah blah blah”… made me start thinking… when did I get so concerned about his plan, the plan or our plan… i'm just suppose to be going with the flow?
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Running, Not Walking…
That’s what me and New Yorker are doing… we’re running… and we’re running at a pace too fast for me… Lemme explain… in my last post just a few days ago I was talking about how New Yorker wanted an open relationship and that I was cool with it for now since we were just getting to know each other and there was no need to rush into anything… well, New Yorker and I have spent a lot of time talking the last couple of days/weeks… I mean we have these marathon phone sessions where we’re on the phone for like 4, 6, 8 hours… yeah I know its crazy, what the heck do we have to talk about for that long, each day… I dunno honestly, it just happens… what I expect to be a quick call to say what’s up turns into a couple of hours… now I dunno know how or exactly when we got to the place where we’re at, but he’s seriously considering being in a committed relationship with me and only me… and that scares the living day lights out of me… he started making small comments about the future and me and him (which he calls an ‘us’ now…) and I caught all the small comments and thought they were cute (still do)… but I guess I didn’t realize that he was really taking things seriously… these commitment comments coming from a man that has had open relationships that have last for more than 2 years (really, an open relationship for 2 years where he saw other people…) so imagine my surprise when yesterday he started seriously talking about me and him committing to one another… now, I’ll be the first to say it (incase you haven’t already figure it out)… I have commitment issues… things that I am currently dealing with… we’ll get back to my commitment issues in a minute… I guess I kinda saw things leading towards this direction, but I didn’t expect this to happen so quickly, cause I knew (or at least I thought I did) that he would be content having an open relationship for now and that maybe in the future if things are going good, we could take it from there…
Ok, New Yorker and I haven’t seen each other since we met a few weeks ago, but we’ve been inseparable on the phone… we’ve gotten to talk about so many things and get to know each other… but the fact remains, what if we don’t click when we’re together… maybe its just good now cause we’re only talk on the phone, what if its different when we are together…. That a major concern that we both have, which we discussed last night… said he couldn’t imagine us not clicking when we see each other and start hanging out, since we clicked the first time we met… and I agree with him, but its still a very valid issue… and well, if we don’t click, what’s his resolution… he says ‘we’ll just be that couple that argues all the time (the couple that cares a lot for each other but clashes)’… hmmm, we’ll have to wait to see how that turns out… I’m suppose to head out to New York on Saturday afternoon after my 23 mile run, cause my friends are having a party and me and my girls wanna go…. He’s really excited about me coming up to NY and so am I… I can’t wait to him… anyways, yesterday was just crazy we started talking around 4 o’clock and didn’t get of the phone til half past midnight… And I was dreading coming to work, especially since I knew I wouldn’t be able to talk to him as much… and he did the sweetest thing this morning… he woke up at like 6 something this morning to text me to make sure I was up…
I don’t understand y he wants to be in a committed relationship already… I told him that all of this was making me nervous, which is the truth… that we needed to take a couple of steps back and slow it down… we should see how things go this weekend before making wedding plans… and wedding plans… yeah I know he was joking when he was talking about ‘our’ wedding plans… but there a bit of truth to every joke and I just can’t plan that far in advance yet… my walls are still up, pretty high and we have a looooooong ways to go before making any types of plans like that… I know it seems like I’m rambling, but I’m just so perplexed about everything… My commitment issues stem from my past experiences… and there are some things that I haven’t quite let go of yet that I’m still working on… we talked about my commitment issues and his commitment issues (cause he definitely has some as well)… I told him that I don’t have a problem once I’ve made a commitment to someone, my problems is getting to the point of making the commitment… getting to the point of making the commitment means I have to trust you, and that’s hard… really hard for me to do…
There are many other issues to come to my mind with my current situation… but right now, all I can only focus on is seeing him on Saturday and seeing where things go from there… but with everything that's going on in my head and me over analyzing everything like i do, the one thing that scares me the most is that everything with him feels so right... it just does...
With all this going on in my head, almost forgot to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Ok, New Yorker and I haven’t seen each other since we met a few weeks ago, but we’ve been inseparable on the phone… we’ve gotten to talk about so many things and get to know each other… but the fact remains, what if we don’t click when we’re together… maybe its just good now cause we’re only talk on the phone, what if its different when we are together…. That a major concern that we both have, which we discussed last night… said he couldn’t imagine us not clicking when we see each other and start hanging out, since we clicked the first time we met… and I agree with him, but its still a very valid issue… and well, if we don’t click, what’s his resolution… he says ‘we’ll just be that couple that argues all the time (the couple that cares a lot for each other but clashes)’… hmmm, we’ll have to wait to see how that turns out… I’m suppose to head out to New York on Saturday afternoon after my 23 mile run, cause my friends are having a party and me and my girls wanna go…. He’s really excited about me coming up to NY and so am I… I can’t wait to him… anyways, yesterday was just crazy we started talking around 4 o’clock and didn’t get of the phone til half past midnight… And I was dreading coming to work, especially since I knew I wouldn’t be able to talk to him as much… and he did the sweetest thing this morning… he woke up at like 6 something this morning to text me to make sure I was up…
I don’t understand y he wants to be in a committed relationship already… I told him that all of this was making me nervous, which is the truth… that we needed to take a couple of steps back and slow it down… we should see how things go this weekend before making wedding plans… and wedding plans… yeah I know he was joking when he was talking about ‘our’ wedding plans… but there a bit of truth to every joke and I just can’t plan that far in advance yet… my walls are still up, pretty high and we have a looooooong ways to go before making any types of plans like that… I know it seems like I’m rambling, but I’m just so perplexed about everything… My commitment issues stem from my past experiences… and there are some things that I haven’t quite let go of yet that I’m still working on… we talked about my commitment issues and his commitment issues (cause he definitely has some as well)… I told him that I don’t have a problem once I’ve made a commitment to someone, my problems is getting to the point of making the commitment… getting to the point of making the commitment means I have to trust you, and that’s hard… really hard for me to do…
There are many other issues to come to my mind with my current situation… but right now, all I can only focus on is seeing him on Saturday and seeing where things go from there… but with everything that's going on in my head and me over analyzing everything like i do, the one thing that scares me the most is that everything with him feels so right... it just does...
With all this going on in my head, almost forgot to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
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