How soon is too soon to say those three little magic words that every girl wants to hear… I guess it depends on the person and the situations… but sometimes it’s just to early, at least in my opinion, to say those magical words… (side note: I can count the amount of guys I’ve said those words to on one finger, because I think its takes time to really love someone… and it takes a little longer when you’re young or inexperience with relationships) anyways… my friend AG (I’ve known AG for about 7 years now… we met that first month of freshman year back in late summer of 2000… anyways, she’s one of my very good friends and one of the few people I talk to frequently although we live quite far apart)… anyways, AG met this guy in the beginning of January, they went on their first date the second week of January and they became boyfriend and girlfriend about a month ago… and the other nite, her boyfriend told her he loved her… and she said thanks…. She said thanks not because she being mean or rude, but she wasn’t ready… she’s had a lot of experiences with relationships and I think she’s learning not to jump so head deep into them and to take her time to get to really know the other person… now she sent me the text about what he said moments after he said it, cause he stepped out the room to go to the bathroom… however we didn’t get a chance to talk about it til the next morning… Now, I know she likes her bf and all and I’m sure he adores her… but its hard to really believe that someone can fall in love with some they’ve known for less than two months… I simply think its lust and infatuation… and no I’m not a skeptic on love and relationships, cause at the point when I met and was dating one my exs, L, after the first month I thought I was head of heels, but I forced myself to step back and realized that its just all apart of the excitement of a new relationship and finding some I clicked with so well, so I understand where he’s (AG’s bf) coming from, but I think it was a bit premature for him to pronounce his love already… but to each his own I guess… its just been on my mind since AG told me about the whole thing…
I mean, no one can really tell you when you’re in love, I feel like you just know… but I don’t think it possible to love someone you don’t really know yet… and I doubt he knows AG as well as he thinks he does… I’ve known her for 7 years and I’m still discovering things about her… granted me and her have a different relationship then they do, but I know it takes more than two months to really know a person… but I do think he cares about her and believes that there’s a future for them, which is cool…
Like I said, I guess it’s different for each person… but how do you know you love someone or are in love with someone… and would you, if you were a female, every say it first to the guy…
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In my opinion,I dont think there is a time frame when it comes to falling in love with someone.love can creep on to u at anytime.I don't think u really have to know everything abt someone before love comes knocking.
A lot of ppl have had different experiences and some ppl actually block the love out just cos of some bad experiences they have encountered.
I remembered one of my aunties giving us the gist abt how she met her husband and she said he told her on the first day they met that he is going to marry her and she was so turned off by that,but they have been married for 19yrs now.
When it comes to issues like this,for me it is different strokes for different folks.
This is just my opinion o..
U take care
There is no calendar for when one falls in love. I don't believe in love @ first sight, but does that mean no1 ever falls in love @ first sight?
So time will tell if it is really love.
i only made the mistake of saying it first once ... but i agree about it being infatuation and lust during the first two months ... the excitement ... which sometimes i know i even get to caught up in ... so you mos def have to step back ... otherwise youll end up hurt every time!
Would NEEEEEEEVER say it first...but I must admit I do believe in love at first sight...sort of. I had "seen" the guy before, but I knew I would fall in love with him, and sure enough, I did. There r so many things that factor into love...maybe homeboy just knows. But I would prob lift an eyebrow if dude said it to me all quick. lol
Tough one as usual. What is love?... could it be lust with no end? I don't know. I believe there is no time limits in knowing when it is the right time. Some days you think you are in love, and others days you do not even like the person. So take a stroll in a beautiful park and you feel so in love - so its the place as well. I think you should tell the other person when you feel you are in love irrespective of how long you have been together. It is always nice to know.
PS - a boyfriend once told me he loved me when we were making love. Boy, was I pissed off, I told him to get off me. Why at that time? I thought he was in love with the idea of sex and not me. Am still confused
Sweetie, unless someone has given up on love, and being skeptic about getting into a relationship, is their a set time-frame to be able to say that? Nope, it depends on the situation, if the homeboy is hoping on getting some and he said so just to get him some then the idea of coming too soon/infatuation might come on.
BUT love is inevitable, I dont think its easy for anyone to utter those words if they wouldnt mean it, it only takes awhile to trust again but that doesnt mean we should hold onto the defensive armor hoping not to get hurt again.
Saying such during sex doesnt cut it, neither does it when smooching/romance is going on....hmmm NOO ooh
i always said i would never say it first but that's bullshit. if you're afraid to say it first then maybe you're not in love. love is scary. if you're not willing to step out on a limb then you're not ready to be in love b/c trust there are much more frightening things, like trusting someone completely. so if you're not ready to make the first step, maybe you should take a different step.. not necessarily away but to evaluate the situation.
i said it first to my current bf. it was hard as hell and he pretty much said thanks and we went on being friends. we saw each other twice in about 6 weeks (we'd been friends for about 5 yrs at that point). i knew he already loved me but it was still special when he said it despite the fact it was MONTHS after i first said it.
but you probably do need more than 2 months to know. my first bf said it after 2 mos. and i was like wtf? i parroted it back and didn't mean it until at least 3 mos. later.
i agree with naijabloke there is no time frame. for some people they fall love within few moments of meeting the person, and they are still together up to now...
as for me it does't matter who says it first, what matters is the intent behind those words... i.e. you must be in love to say it... i know some guys are guilty of saying it quickly to girls, so as to get in their pants... because we girls can get excited at the mention of "i love you"...
if you mean it then say it, if not then shut up...don't necessarily wait for the other party to say it...
@Naijabloke… You’re right; I guess there isn’t really a time frame when it comes to falling in love… each situation is different…
@Vera… the funny thing is I use to believe in love at first sight, but thru experience I start to back away from the idea of love at first sight… time is the true test of whether its love or lust…
@AI…. I’ve said it once as well, and I said it first, but it was after me and guy broke up…. I didn’t mean to say it, it just kinda slipped out in the middle of a heated conversation…
@Wise… really, u’d never say it first… like I said, I’ve only every said it to one person, so I’m not so sure what I’d do if I ever felt that strongly about someone again …. But I’d definitely be a little suspicious myself if a guy said it that quickly as well…
@Vanilla….. no one can really define love, each person has their own definition of what they believe love is… saying it for the first time during sex it not the wisest, I would have gotten upset as well…
@Naijadude… I guess its my past experiences that have made me a bit of a skeptic on the idea of Love… that’s not to say I don’t believe in it, I just know for me, I need time to make sure its not just infatuation…
@Jameil… you make a really good point… I guess loving someone is all about trusting them and feeling comfortable enough to put yourself out there…
@Ajike… the intent behind saying it, is definitely the most important thing….
My reluctance to say ‘I love you’ first isn’t about fear or trust or insecurity. It’s about not wanting to add any pressure or stress. I wish relationships could be spontaneous and completely honest, but my experience is exactly as you’ve suggested DD…confusing. This convo is the reason I don’t do it. Cuz there’s no definitive time limit, there’s not even a distinct measure of what love is! Im a straight shooter, a direct communicator, so if I say it I know I mean it. But there is nothing I want LESS than a man who feels pressure to say it, or who feels uncomfy about when to say it…and that’s the type of dude I ALWAYS attract. The Tortured Indecisive Bitch Dude. lol
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