logic over emotion???

And so… after the entire weekend New Yorker and I talked briefly on Sunday cause I was riding in the car with 3 other people and didn’t want to be rude and it was late when I got home… so we didn’t get to really talk til yesterday… we talked last night… talked about the weekend and how we had such a good time together and so on… said he was really feeling me and so on… we talked again about commitment issues…told him I couldn’t afford to get too attached to him, especially not this early… but he says and does all the right things... he's concerned about all the small things, especially all the small things that matter to me... what's crazy is that whenever i even get a small doubt in my mind, its like he knows and calls or texts me and everything seems to be right with the world again... corny, i know... but that's just how I feel about my shortie...

Talked to one of my good friend, AG, last nite… AG and I went to college together, she was one of the first people I met in Undergrad and still keep in touch with even though she lives far away… anyways, AG and I are very similar in many ways, except that sometimes she more neurotic than I am, but at least emotionally we are both alike… and she advised me saying that DD don’t date someone that you can’t marry... and that the open dating situation sounds good in logic, but that if she knows me as well as she does its not gonna work out as simple as I am making it out to sound… and truth be told, it wouldn’t be that simple… I already know that… AG believes that either way someone is going to get hurt in this relationship and that I should imagine how hard it will be to give him up later if I decide I can’t marry him, when I already have a hard time going a couple of hours with talking to him… she’s right, it will be difficult, either now or later… but probably harder later… I don’t want to string him along, I kinda want to lay the whole thing out there so that he understands where I’m coming from, but then again when I try to explain it just sounds (as in AG’s words) that I’m just with him for the attention and affection, and when the right Nigerian guy comes along that I will dump New Yorker all together… and that’s not the case, I promise… I’m tempted to just keep going with the flow of things and let things progress naturally… yeah I know we mention getting married, having kids and the future, but its not like we’re seriously planning or any of that stuff (or at least I’m not)… but then again I don’t want him to get so emotionally invested in me and then I turn around and give him some BS story about how I can’t be with him cause he’s not Nigerian…

Today we (New Yokrer and I) were talking and he’s at his friend’s house when he calls me… and I guess she asked who he was on the phone with and his reply was wifey…. all of a sudden, i'm wifey now… when did I become wifey… not to say that I mind… actually it put a little smile across my face cause he’s all about telling them who I am… and my status with him…

In case u can’t tell, I am terribly confused… I really like this dude, but don’t wanna hurt him… there is soooo much potential for me and him… and yet there are some road blocks already… well not some, just one major road block that I don’t know if I can ever come to over look… my head says that I’m still young and I should just enjoy the experience cause he’s a great guy with his head on straight… but my heart says you can’t put me in a vulnerable position to fall for a guy that you know u can’t be with forever… logic says that an open relationship is very manageable and would work well in this situation… emotions say I’m already attached to New Yorker and I don’t want him seeing any other females… my head over my heart… logic over emotions… whats a girl to do???


"The mind is no match with the heart in persuasion; constitutionality is no match with compassion. " ~ Senator Everett Dirksen