Spent most of yesterday stress out trying to find Ex boyfriend a plane ticket, tickets were expensive as heck and it was so last minute… I think I stressed myself so much that I started to feel ill by the end of the evening... anyways, after we got all that stuff sorted out, we were talking last night… it was cool, we talked for a while, he was surprised at all the trouble I went thru just to help him get a ticket…
( Now, y don't i just tell Mr. Ex how i'm feeling... I dunno, i just don't want to ruin the good friendship that we have now by trying to pursue something more, and if it doesn't work out a second time... then thing would get really ackward :-/... and i really value his friendship and i wouldn't want to tarnish the great memories we did have together by doing something stupid... )
Crazy part is even after all the trouble I went thru to find him a plane ticket, I doubt that I will even see him when he comes into town tomorrow… yeah I know he’s only gonna be around for two days and he’s gonna be an hour away from where I stay, but it would be nice to see him, even if were just for a minute… but I won’t suggest it, but if he brings it up… you better believe I’ll make it happen..

Okay, so I was going thru some pictures of myself this morning, and I saw some pictures from last November… I looked to good (not in a “Damn I know I look good” vain manner, just in a “Damn I weighted like 15 pound less” way)… so now I’m re-focused… I had already started my diets and working out, but seeing those pictures motivated me even more… no more cheating here and there, cause all that does is keep me further from my goal… so I need to drop approximately 15 to 20 lbs in the next six and a half weeks… to be honest, I’ll be proud if I drop more than 10/11 lbs… that’s a doable goal… but I’m really aiming for more than that…

Finally its Thursday, the weekend can start… yes the weekend starts for me on Thursday… now if I were in college I might still be able to get away with it… but when I show up to work on Friday morning looking a mess… well, needless to say its soooo not cute… but then I’m still young, so I can get away with it… anyways, let the drinking commence (once I get out of work)… its happy hour and then who know what after that…

I hope I get to see him this weekend…