back to work... back to reality...

First day back at work… its takes me back of returning to school after Christmas vacation… I had the same feeling… tool forever just to get out of bed and get myself motivated… not very excited… once I got to work though, it wasn’t so bad, actually it wasn’t bad at all… its definitely good to see my co-workers… I actually like my co-workers, they are interesting people and they help the day pass by so much faster… always something interesting to chat about with them… and it was a nice surprise to have my new laptop waiting for me when I got to work today (I ordered it way back in October… talk about a delayed response time)… but its still work… to be honest, I like my job as well, not overly challenging, but not too dull either (most of the time at least)… I probably could be a better employee in a job that pushed me a lot and challenged me all the time, but I dunno if I could handle that ALL the time… so my current job suits me quite well, I’ve learned a lot since I’ve been working in this position, but as I said its not the most challenging job in the world… anyways, as I chatted with various people around the office, talking about the holiday and so on and so on…

This isn’t necessarily where I saw myself at 25… or in 2008… Not to say that I’m in a bad place or anything like that… I’ve done a lot for myself at my age, I have a good academic background and a good professional career… and yeah I am proud of my accomplishments, but still this just isn’t where I saw myself… well, you see I had my life planned out at 16, or at least I had my life planned out until I was 24… but nothing after that… I mean, I know I would get to 24 eventually and older, but I didn’t plan for it, like I planned for everything else so now I feel like I’m just going with the flow and not necessarily working towards anything in particular… I’m just waiting for the right thing or the right person that will show me the direction I should go in and that’s not how life should be… at least I don’t think that’s how it should be… I dunno where to begin… but this is going to be my year… so much potential that I’m not putting to good use… and I’m going to make a discerned effort to push myself more for the things that I want and need to make life more enjoyable… this is my year…

***I should have mentioned this earlier... but one of my uncles pasted away 2 days after Christmas... he was one of my uncles that lives here in England... although i've been in London for about 4 months, I hadn't made it to visit him cause he lives outside of London... now i wished i had taken the time to go and see him while he was still around... what makes me feel even worse is that a few days before Christmas he left me a voicemail, checking up on me, saying he hadn't heard from me lately and wanted to see if I was doing well... i told myself that I would call him before i left for the states, but i forgot, and i made a mental note that I would call him in the new year and go visit him... i guess i'll never get that chance, so that's been on my mind as well...